Does It Hurt When You Breathe?
by Dirtiest Girl In America
Summary: Mickey is back in Chicago, alone. Ian is in a foreign desert, alone. How will they cope? When will they see each other again? Sequel to Problem With Authority. Ian/Mickey *Sorry for the crappy summary*
1. Chapter 1

**Does It Hurt When You Breathe?  
**Gallickey  
Sequel to Problem With Authority.  
I am making no profit from this, it is written purely for entertainment.

Mickey had been back in Chicago for two weeks; two fucking weeks that felt like hell on earth. Mickey hated being back in Chicago. He tried to avoid everyone but it was hard; he had to return to south-side.

The first person who saw him back in Chicago was fucking Lip Gallagher. Lip asked where Ian was; Mickey just said not here and walked away. Lip was yelling at Mickey but Mick wasn't listening.

Mickey found an apartment, it was a shitty little one bedroom. The building looked like it was about to fall apart. It wasn't that Mickey couldn't afford anything nicer, he just didn't want anything nicer. He wanted something familiar.

The walls were a dingy off-white color; Mickey guessed they were smoke stained. The apartment was already furnished. The couch was pretty much broken, the springs were nearly sticking through. The bed was uncomfortable, but Mickey didn't really think any bed was comfortable; not without Ian in it. Mickey could have bought new furniture but why waste money when he already had some? Even if it was shittier than the stuff at the Milkovich house.

Two days after he got the apartment he wrote a letter to Ian; he told the kid that he had an apartment, and that he was doing fine. He ended the letter simply, don't get your ass shot off. He sent it the next day.

It took awhile for Mickey to get a letter back from Ian; but when he did it was five pages long. Mickey wondered how the kid fit all the paper into one envelope.

The kid went on and on about how much he wished Mickey was still with him. Ian wrote about how he couldn't wait to see Mickey's apartment; Mickey didn't really like the fact that Ian called it **his **apartment. Mick wouldn't admit it out loud, he thought of the apartment as his _and_Ian's.

Mickey wrote a letter back this time it was a bit longer. As time when by the length of Mickey's letters increased; Ian's seemed to get shorter.

After three months of living in seclusion, Mickey decided it was time to go see Mandy. As he stood outside the house and knocked on the door he hoped that she was alone; she wasn't, Lip was with her.

"About fucking time you showed your face around here fuck-head. Lip told me he saw you like three months ago." She hit him in the back of his head, right where the stitches had been a few months earlier.

"Shut the fuck up bitch. Why the fuck's he here?" Mandy sat on the couch next to Lip.

"You'd know why if you'd actually come to see her." Lip was getting cocky.

"Did I fucking ask you?" Mickey was regretting coming to see his sister.

"He's my fucking boyfriend, 'cuz ya know you stole my old one." Mickey snorted.

"So where is he?" Of course Mandy wanted to know where Ian was, why wouldn't she? He was her best friend.

"No clue." That was a lie, a very big lie. Mickey knew exactly where Ian was; he wished he was still with him.

"Don't fucking lie. I know you are in the same unit as him. So why are you here and he isn't?" Mickey shrugged and ignored Lip.

"Just fucking tell me Mick. Did something happen to him?" Mandy sounded scared.

"Nope, not a fucking thing happened to him. And we _were _in the same unit; I was discharged." Mandy's eyes widened.

"Why'd they kick you out?" Mickey shook his head.

"They didn't." She looked confused.

"Then wha'?" She was interrupted by Lip.

"You got hurt." Mickey knew it wasn't a question, it was a statement.

Mickey nodded slightly, if Mandy and Lip hadn't been staring intently at him they wouldn't have noticed. Lip looked a bit suprised; Mandy looked like she was going to cry, but Mick knew she wouldn't.

"What happened?" Lip spoke first.

"I got shot. I cracked my skull. Was in a coma for like two weeks." Lip just stared at him.

"WHERE WERE YOU SHOT AT?" Mandy was yelling, over-reacting. Mickey laughed.

"Stomach. And bitch you gotta stop yellin'. It ain't like I haven't been shot before." Mickey looked at her like she was stupid.

"Ian's okay though right?" Mickey rolled his eyes.

"I already fucking answered that. He wasn't even any where near me when it happened. He's the one that found me after it happened." Mickey hated admitting that he needed to be _found_, but he knew that if he hadn't said it they would have asked.

"Really? Are you okay now?" Mandy sounded worried.

"Obviously." Mickey really wanted to get out of there. It was getting uncomfortable. Mickey felt like he was suffocating. He stood up and headed toward the door.

"Where are you going? Are you coming back?" Mandy was talking; Lip was silent; Mickey was focused on getting the fuck out, as fast as possible.

"Bitch I don't need to tell you where I'm going. You'll see me again _sometime_." He didn't specify when because he really didn't know when he would come back, and he didn't want to make any promises.

Mickey slammed the door when he went out; he didn't mean to slam it or maybe he did, trying to get rid of some of his anger.

He didn't even know why he was angry; he just was. Maybe it was because he was being asked about Ian and about his shooting. He didn't want to talk about Ian or about when he got shot. Talking about Ian only reminded him that Ian wasn't with him, not now. Talking about when the shooting also reminded him that Ian wasn't with him. It reminded him that he was discharged and sent back to Chicago; reminded him that Ian was still in that fucking desert, unprotected. But Ian was protected by all the other men in their unit, but those men didn't protect Mickey. So how the fuck could they protect Ian? Mickey wanted to be there, making sure _his _red-head was safe.

When Mickey got back to his apartment he flopped down onto the couch, which creaked. He turned the tv on, searching the channels. He finally stopped on a movie, it was one with a chinese guy and a black guy it, Mickey didn't know the name, but he knew that it was one of Ian's favorites. He felt stupid for knowing that it was Ian's favorite and he felt even stupider when the movie made him think of Ian.

Mickey passed out on the couch. He dreamt of Ian; fuck, he dreamt of Ian every night. It was always the same dream. Him and Ian living together, and much to Mickey's surprise, they had a child living with them. Mickey didn't mind having the kid there, he just wondered where the fuck it came from. Who's kid was it? There was no way it was his or Firecrotch's. At least he didn't think it was their kid.

Sometimes it was a little girl, other times a little boy. The little girl always looked so much like Ian, with bright red hair and big eyes. The boy looked more like Mickey, with dark hair and Mickey's nose.

Mickey woke up around three in the morning, he was covered in sweet and his heart was racing. He dream had been the same as every other night, nothing bad had happened. He didn't understand why he was freaking out. He realized that missed Ian, more than he had thought. He realized that he wanted to be with Ian _**forever**_. And as gay and sappy as it sounds, he wanted to, dare he say, _marry _Ian and have a family with the red-head. He realized how much he truly cared for Ian. And that scared the shit out of him.

Mickey grabbed a beer from the fridge and popped it open. He took a long drink and decided to play xbox. He wasn't tired anymore. He'd be exhausted tomorrow but for now he wanted to kill shit.

_Note To Readers-Let me know what you thought of this __**please**__. I thought it was pretty good. Should I continue it? Also what do you think of the title? I struggled to come up with one. Oh and the movie I was talking about was Rush Hour. I was watching the movie as I wrote this :P-Alayna_


	2. Chapter 2

_Note To Readers-Thank You All So Much for the great reviews. They mean a lot to me. I was quite worried putting that first chapter up. I'm glad you are all enjoying it :) -Alayna_

Mickey recieved a letter from Ian the next day; it was pretty short, barely a page long. Ian didn't go into much detail in the letter, he mostly just said that he was okay and that he missed Mickey.

Something about the way the letter was so short really worried Mickey; he felt stupid for worring, but Ian's letters had been getting shorter and shorter as time when by.

Mickey really needed to go buy a fucking laptop, in one of the kid's letters he mentioned something called Skype. Mickey didn't really get what it was, but he knew it would allow him to talk to the kid.

He wrote the kid back. He asked if anything was wrong and if the kid found anything out about how long the deployment was going to be, if it was going to be extended or shortened or anything. If it wasn't extended Mickey only had to wait fourteen months until he could see the red-head again. Mickey hoped it wouldn't be extended. He wouldn't admit it out loud to any other than Ian, that he really missed the kid and wanted him to come home as soon as possible.

Mickey felt bad for thinking it, but sometimes he wished that Ian would get hurt so that he would get to come home.

Mickey sent the letter that afternoon. He decided to go shopping. He wanted to by a laptop, so he could Skype with Ian but also so that he could do something other than kill shit on an xbox game; it got boring after awhile. Plus he really needed to get some food, ordering pizza and chinese and shit was getting sickening.

He went to some electronics store, and bought one of the cheaper laptops and a few new games for the xbox; why not? He was getting a check every month for being injured while deployed.

He went to some grocery store that was pretty far away from his apartment, the Kash and Grab was only a few blocks from where he lived going there would have only reminded him of Firecrotch; he didn't want to think about Ian right now. Plus he didn't wanna risk seeing Kash, he wasn't sure if he'd ever even come back but Mickey didn't want to find out.

He bought a few things, that were either pre-made or super simple to eat; Mickey couldn't cook worth shit. The food was always under cooked or burnt. Mandy always cooked for Mickey, so it wasn't often that he had to do it for himself.

He rode the El back to his shitty little apartment and wondered if anyone who lived around him had a wireless internet connection. He really didn't want to pay for that shit; but he would if he had to.

Luckily for Mickey his next door neighboor, some fourty year old bitch that Mickey didn't like, had her internet connection unlocked.

Mick went online for a bit; until someone was pounding on his door.

It was Lip.

"What do you want?" Mickey really wasn't in the mood to deal with Lip.

"I got a letter from Ian today. He asked me to track you down and make sure you were okay. And then I talked to Fi and even though she can't stand you, she thinks it would be a good idea to invite you to have dinner with us tomorrow night. So the rest of the family can-fuck I don't know-get to know you or some shit." Well fuck. Mickey really didn't want to be surrounded by Gallaghers, but it meant a non-frozen meal.

"Yea, sure whatever." Mickey started to shut the door.

"Wait, what time? And how the fuck did you find out where I lived?" Mickey had made sure that he wasn't followed home. He didn't particularily want anyone just showing up at his place.

Lip laughed.

"I saw you on the El, and I maybe followed you." That's fucking creepy.

"Dude you stalked me? That's fucked."

"I didn't stalk you, I hadn't intended on following you. Besides Ian asked me to, and he may have told me your address." Mickey snorted, of course Ian told Lip his address.

"Whatever. So what fucking time?" Mickey really wanted Lip to get out of his door way.

"Come over around five. Oh and Mandy'll there." Mickey just nodded and shut the door in Lip's face.

So now Mickey was going to be _in_ the Gallagher house, surrounded by Gallagher's. And _his _Gallagher wouldn't even be there.

Fuck.

Mickey wasn't looking forward to it, but he would go, _for Ian_.

Mickey sighed and went to put some frozen mac and cheese into the microwave.

He hoped it didn't taste like shit; if it did, he would just order a pizza.

_Second Note To Readers-I've got to stop there, I'm being kicked off the computer . Let me know what you thought of this chapter, pwease. Next chapter will hopefully be a bit better. Mickey goes to dinner at the Gallagher house! haha. Ohh and I haven't decided for sure yet, but I'm thinking about doing a chapter from Ian's POV soon, how does that sound? good? bad? -Alayna_


	3. Chapter 3

Mickey thought it would be a good idea to shower before going to the Gallagher's, he hadn't taken one in about a week. He didn't fucking cared what they thought; he just didn't want any one to puke and ruin his meal.

He put some mostly clean jeans on, the t-shirt had a stain near the bottom of it; but fuck, Mickey wasn't trying to impress them. So why should he wear nice clothes?

It would take maybe five minutes to walk to the Gallagher house; it was four fourty-five. Mickey decided to have a beer before going over there. It would really cause a buzz or anything, but knowing that he had alcohol in his system made him relax. Not that he was nervous or anything. It wasn't like he was meeting the fucking president; it was just dinner with the Gallagher's.

Mickey ended up drinking three beers; still not enough for it to effect him.

He left his apartment at four fifty-three. He lit a cigarette as he locked his door, not that he really thought anyone would bother breaking in.

He headed toward the Gallagher house; as soon as he finished sucking one cigarette down he lit another, followed by one more. He threw the butt as he knocked on the Gallagher's fucking door.

He was starting to regret coming. He wasn't scared or anything, he just didn't think being surrounded by Gallagher's was a good idea, not anymore. But he'd stay for Ian. Ian didn't even know about this dinner, but he would find out and Mickey wanted the kid to know that he at least attempted to be _nice _to his family.

One of the younger Gallagher's answered the door, Debbie, maybe?

She didn't say anything just let him in the door and walked into the kitchen.

Lip and Mandy were sitting on the couch.

"Hey shit-head, you actually showed up." Mandy actually seemed surprised.

Mickey rolled his eyes.

"Yea okay, whatever bitch. You knew I'd show up. Free food." Mickey smirked.

Mickey flopped down onto the couch next to Mandy.

They just sat there in silence. Fiona entered the room a few minutes later.

"Food's done."

All of them piled around the table. They didn't waste anytime.

They all grabbed food and shoved it into their mouths, like it was going to disappear.

It was chaotic; it reminded Mickey of meals at the Milkovich house when he was little.

Mickey ate slowly, savoring the non-microwaved food.

All of the Gallagher's spoke to each other; no one said anything to Mickey. Except Mandy, but even she was involved in the Gallagher's conversations.

Mickey didn't mind that they weren't talking to him, he actually liked that they weren't bothering him. He just came here to eat.

Once all the food was gone, they all went and sat in the living room, talking and watching some stupid fucking show on tv.

Mickey really wanted out; he felt like he was drowning in _Gallagher's_.

He lit a cigarette. He knew they smoked in the house; even if they didn't Mickey didn't give a fuck, he wanted a cigarette.

"Did you shoot anyone?" One of them, the crazy one, asked enthusiastically.

Fuck Mickey really didn't want to talk about shit like that.

"No." A short answer would end the conversation faster.

"He was shot though." Fuck, why'd Mandy have to bring that up?

"Really? Where?" Mickey put the cigarette out in the ashtray and fidgeted.

"Stomach." He felt like his breathing was getting a bit shallow; that was just his mind fucking with him.

He wanted to get out of there, but he knew it would be rude to leave. Fuck since when did he care about being rude.

They all started talking to each other again; no one was paying attention to him. He could slip out the door and they wouldn't even notice.

He slowly moved toward the door. He glanced at his sister, she was lost in conversation with Debbie.

He slipped out the door and made it as far as the sidewalk before he was caught.

"Where you think you're going Mickey?" Fuck, that was Fiona. Why the fuck did she care where Mickey was going?

"Home." Mickey stopped walking but he didn't turn around to look at her.

"Do you have a problem with us?" Mick hadn't exactly expected that.

"No, just-I need to go." Mickey heard her laugh slightly.

"No, you just want to run away. You're a dick Mickey. We all know it. Leave if you really want, just know that Ian'll find out and he probably won't be to happy." Was this bitch trying to guilt him into staying?

"You know bitch. Tell Ian. I don't give a fuck. He knows I'm a dick. He's accepted that. Try to get him to hate me, it won't work. Now if you'll fucking excuse me, I'm going home." Mickey didn't care what the fucking Gallagher's thought of him. The **only **Gallagher that mattered was Ian; Ian knew all about how Mickey acted, he didn't care.

Mickey continued walking, he could hear Fiona yelling after him; he ignored her.

When he got home he drank the rest of the beer that was in the fridge; he passed out on the couch a few hours later.

_Note To Readers-I've gotta stop there it's nearly 11 pm. I've got to get off the computer. Anyway let me know what you thought. I think the next chapter or maybe the one after it will be Ian. Also thanks for all the lovely reviews, you don't know how much they mean to me. -Alayna_


	4. Chapter 4

_Note To Readers-I know I said that I would do an Ian chapter, but it's just not coming to me right now, so this is going to be another Mickey chapter. Lets all hope my brain'll let me write an Ian chapter tomorrow. -Alayna_

Fuck. His head hurt. Why the fuck did he think it was a good idea to drink all that beer last night? Fuck.

Mickey rolled off the couch onto the floor with a loud thud. He hit his knee off the coffee table.

He cussed and stood up shakily. He needed some fucking pain pills.

He swallowed four pills, dry.

He hadn't even taken his clothes off the night before; they were wrinkled and smelled like stale cigarettes and cheap beer.

Mickey pulled the shirt over his head and threw it into the corner of the room, his jeans quickly followed.

He stood in the middle of the room, in just his boxers, for a long time. He sorta zoned out, just thinking about what happened the night before.

He had gone to the Gallagher's for dinner and then failed at sneaking out.

He got into an argument with Fiona, who had tried to guilt him into staying. She tried pulling the I'm telling Ian card on Mickey.

It wasn't gonna work; he wasn't gonna think about what the red-head was going to say to him.

He wasn't going to feel guilty for treating them pretty badly; he wasn't going to fucking worry about the Gallagher's not liking him. The only one that mattered **loved **him. So why the fuck should it matter if the rest of them like him? Fuck, maybe he did feel guilty; maybe he was worried about what Ian would say to him. How Ian would react to the way Mickey treated his family.

But Ian _knew _how Mickey acted; he knew that Mickey's a dick. He knew that; he had always known that. It had never seemed to bother him before. So why would it now? Mickey sure didn't fucking know.

His stomach rumbling brought him out of his mind; chased the thoughts away.

It was after noon; he ate cereal anyway.

Mickey was going stir crazy; he had nothing to do and no one to interact with.

He didn't have job or friends or family, that he wanted to see; other than Mandy, but she was always with Lip. And Mick didn't want to see Lip.

He really didn't want to see anyone; he just wanted to do something.

He didn't even know what he wanted to do.

He wanted Ian there; when the red-head was around, Mickey _always _had something to do.

The kid was always talking or moving or doing something.

Mickey wished he could be like the kid; so energetic, full of life.

But he wasn't. He couldn't be; especially not when he was **alone**.

When he was Ian-less.

Mickey decided to just go on the internet for a bit, just look up random shit.

Some how Mickey ended up on a porn site, he really hadn't meant to go there. _**He didn't**_.

He decided, fuck it. He was already there, and he hadn't gotten laid in a **long **time.

He initially clicked on a video of two guys, both blondes, but he wasn't even getting hard; _**at all**_.

He clicked a few more video's and nothing happened. Not even a twitch.

Fuck.

He stumbled across a video of a tall red-head and a shorter man with dark hair, going at it like crazy.

His dick twitched a bit; but he never actually got hard.

That really depressed him; it just meant that he really loved Ian. And didn't want to fuck anyone else. It also pissed him off, because he was sexually frustrated; Mickey and sexual frustration didn't mix.

It made him crazy, extra violent and irrational.

Mickey was fucked.

_Second Note To Readers-I have no idea where this chapter came from, but it just did. It's random as fuck, but I really like it. It could be longer but hey, I've got a headache and I want to go to sleep. Let me know what you thought. I'll try my hardest to do an Ian chapter next time.-Alayna_


	5. Chapter 5

_Note To Readers-This __**IS NOT**__, I repeat __**IS NOT **__chapter five. This is to fix an inconsistancy that I realized I had made. I actually planned on putting this in chapter one, but for some reason forgot to type it. I don't even know for sure if anyone noticed this inconsistancy but I did, so I'm going to fix this. So you can either view this piece as part of chapter one, of view it as if it is a memory of Mickey's. I will be putting the official chapter five up later tonight. Holy crap that was longer than I had expected. Anyway onto the missing piece.-Alayna_

When Mickey had landed in Chicago and returned to the south-side, he was struggling to breathe; he felt like he wasn't really there, like he was floating away from himself. He needed something to reground him; he needed to know he was really there.

His entire body itched; he was craving something. He knew what his body wanted; he knew what his body _needed_. But that wasn't an option. His addiction was too far away.

He hadn't done coke in too many years; he didn't want to start that shit again. He didn't like constantly sniffling. He didn't like his nose feeling raw and burning; he loved the high the coke gave but it wasn't worth all the stupid shit.

He walked aimlessly around the south-side, cautiously.

Fire was burning beneath his skin; he needed to extinguish it.

He needed something to keep him from going insane; he was slipping away from sanity as the seconds went by.

He hadn't drank any hard liquor since the hotel with Ian before they were deployed. He wanted to get shit faced. He wanted to forget about his addiction; not remember anything.

He couldn't get shit faced though; this wasn't like when he was a teenager, he couldn't get shit faced and pass out under the El, or stumble into the Milkovich house at three in the morning.

He was a **man **now; he had grown up; matured.

He snorted at the thought. Mickey and mature just didn't sound right together. If Mickey was really mature he wouldn't have acted like a child and ignored Ian and acted like a dick to the kid. If he was mature he would have just told the kid how he felt. He would have told Ian about being worried. About thinking he was going to get hurt. He wouldn't have made the red-head think that he didn't care about him anymore.

Mickey needed something, _anything _to take the pain and regret and insanity away.

He wanted to get his addiction off his mind, he wanted a substitution.

He saw some kids smoking cigarettes as they walked past him.

That's what he needed; nicotine.

It wouldn't make him forget but it would dull the pain. It would distract him. He quit smoking with he went to basic. He hadn't smoked in a **long** time. He didn't even know if his lungs would accept the smoke. He'd force it if he had too. He _**needed **_this. He needed a distraction.

He continued walking, until he came across the little corner store where he used to buy cigarettes when he was fourteen.

He bought two cartons and a lighter; it was bright red. It reminded him of Ian.

_Second Note To Readers-Alright there is the missing part. I realized that I had said Mickey regreted smoking when he was in basic training, implying that he quit smoking. And then all of a sudden I had him chain-smoking. None of you probably even noticed, and if you did, you didn't call me on it. Anyway I'll put chapter five up in a bit, as soon as I'm done writing it.-Alayna_


	6. Chapter 6

_Note To Readers-This is chapter five. And It will be an Ian chapter, it may suck, hardcore because my brain is still telling me to write Mickey. -Alayna_

It was fucking hot, and dusty, and lonely. No one ever really talked to Ian. They would talk to him when they were barking orders at him; but no one ever had a conversation with him.

They ignored him; unless it was absolutely necessary.

Ian really didn't mind being ignored; it depressed him that he had virtually no friends, but it didn't bother him. He liked the silence; it was always so loud in Chicago.

His fellow soldiers would always protect him; it was code. But once Mickey left they had all found out about Ian's sexuality. They didn't react well. They called him a fag and he even got hit by a few of them. It was intollerance; but there was nothing Ian could do about, he didn't want to cause trouble. It was better to just let it go.

Ian really wished Mickey was with him; at least he would have someone to talk to.

He wrote Mickey letters all the time, long letters, lots of pages; but in the end he sent the short quickly thrown together less than a page long letters. He didn't want to bother Mickey. He didn't think Mickey would forget about him, but that wouldn't stop him from being Mickey and doing what he wanted. Ian didn't want to tie Mickey down.

Ian knew that Mickey was in Chicago fucking different guys every night; he had to be. Mickey wouldn't go with out just because he was still in the fucking desest.

And to be honest it hurt a little to know that Mickey was fucking other guys; but Ian accepted it, he knew it would happen. And he had never asked Mickey not to fuck anyone else, because he knew Mickey would anyway.

As Ian marched through the sand the only thing on his mind was Mickey and his family.

He had asked Lip to look after Mickey; make sure he was okay. He knew Lip would do it for him. He had told Fiona to tell Lip that he should invite Mickey over to dinner at their house; he knew Mickey couldn't cook worth shit, he wanted Mickey to have a decent meal at least once. He knew Mick wouldn't go running back to the Milkovich house so Mandy wouldn't be cooking for him. He asked Fi not to tell anyone that it was his idea for Mickey to come over to dinner; he didn't want Mickey to find out, if Mick knew he wouldn't show up. That was just the way it went.

Ian hoped that Mickey was doing alright, all of Mickey's letters to him said that he was okay, but Ian knew Mickey, he knew that Mick was a good liar.

Mickey's letters were getting longer and longer each time. He hoped that meant that Mickey still loved him.

Mickey had never said I love you at the end of his letters; Ian didn't expect him to. It just wasn't something Mickey would do.

Ian put it at the end of every letter he sent.

At night when Ian was in bed, he would cry. Nothing dramatic; no sobbing or hiccuping breathes, just tears. He knew he was crying because he was so completely alone. He didn't have Mickey with him, he didn't have his family with him. He had nothing.

Ian was becoming more and more depressed as the days went by. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see Mickey. He wanted to see how much his family had changed.

Some days it seemed like it was unbearable, Ian thought about hurting himself. Making them send him home. He thought of ways to cause himself to be discharged, honorably or not. He didn't care any more. He justwanted to be with Mickey, and his family. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to be surrounded by sand and heat and people who hated him.

But he would always snap out of it and remember why he was there. Why he was fighting for his country.

He got a letter from Mickey, asking how long his deployment would be; Ian wanted to tell him that it would be over really soon, that he was coming home. But he couldn't, because he wasn't going home, not for a long time. Ian cried as he wrote those words. He wanted to go home.

He never thought that he would be regretting his decision so much, but it was too much for him to handle.

He wanted to serve, he really did; but he wanted to be with his family, Mickey included.

He wanted to live with Mickey and have dinner with his brothers and sisters.

He missed going shopping with Mandy and smoking a joint with Lip and having deep conversations. He missed the small things. He missed the snow and the crime. He missed the noise of the El. He missed the chaos of dinner at his house. He missed fucking in the dugouts. He missed working at the Kash and Grab. Fuck, he even missed Frank; Frank fucking hated him and treated him like shit, but Ian actually missed him.

In Mickey's next letter he told Ian that he had went out and bought a laptop. Ian was ecstatic; they could Skype now. He would get to see Mickey's face.

That night when Ian went to bed, for the first time since Mickey was sent home, he didn't cry. He was happy; he slept peacefully.

_Second Note To Readers-There it is, an Ian chapter. Let me know what you thought of it :) -Alayna_


	7. Chapter 7

Mandy showed up at his door; she was crying.

"Fuck. What's wrong? Who do I gotta kill?" Mick always protected his baby sister, no matter what.

"It's nothing bad, well maybe it is. I don't know. Mick what am I gonna do?" She wasn't really making any sense.

"What the fuck are you talking about? What are you gonna do about what?" Mickey really wanted to know what was going on. Mandy flopped down onto his couch.

"I'm fucking pregnant." Mickey laughed out loud at her.

"It's not fucking funny Mick. I don't know what to do." She was starting to cry harder.

"You keep it or get rid of it. How's the daddy?" Mickey really thought it was funny that she was freaking out so bad. It wasn't really that serious, unless it was like last time, but that's not possible; Terry was still locked up.

"It's-it's Lip's kid." He expected that.

"What you don't think he's gonna take care of it? Or what?" Mandy didn't speak just silently cried.

"I'm really not seeing what the problem is, you wanna tell me?" Mick didn't understand _at all_.

"He's not gonna want it; he probably won't even believe it's his, especially not after what that fucking cunt Karen did to him." That made a little bit of sense in Mickey's mind.

"Just because that stupid cunt fucked him over doesn't mean he won't believe you. I know you Mandy, if you really care about Lip, you aren't fucking around on him; it's his kid. Right?" Mickey knew his sister, he knew what Mandy was like. He knew that if she truely cared about Lip, she was only fucking him.

"I swear it's his kid. I haven't fucked anyone other than him in months." Mick just nodded.

Mick and Mandy had an odd relationship. They talked about shit that most brothers and sisters would even think about when they were in the same room. Mandy told Mickey all about who she fucked, she told him all kinds of crazy shit. Shit that he really didn't want to know, but he listened anyway, because she was his baby sister; he loved her. Mickey never said much to Mandy, he didn't tell her about who he fucked or anything like that. She didn't mind him not talking, it just gave her more time to talk. Mandy liked talking, she always had; she reminded him of Ian, that kid never shut up either.

"You want me to talk to him?" Mickey regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He didn't want to fucking talk to Gallagher. But if Mandy wanted him to he would.

"Why? So you can scare him off. Are you fucking crazy?" Mickey snorted, he kind of expected Mandy to react like that.

"On the other hand it would probably be a good idea if you talked to him first." Mick nodded, he expected that as well.

"I'll go find him later and talk to him." Mandy smiled.

"Can I stay here until after you talk to him? I don't want to go home and I can't go to the Gallagher's not until after he knows." Mickey just nodded.

He grabbed the xbox controller off the coffee table and turned on the game. After killing some shit he paused and threw the controller at Mandy. He stood and grabbed his cigarettes off the table. He lit one.

"You know where he's at?" Mandy didn't speak at first, she was busy killing shit.

"He's probably on the ice-cream truck with Kev. Not sure where it's at though. Probably near the fucking park though." Mick blew smoke out of his nose and nodded.

"Don't let fucking anyone in here." He didn't wait for her to respond he just shut the door and headed out to find the ice-cream truck.

He found it pretty quickly.

"What do you want Mick? Didn't think you'd need to come to us for cheap booze and joints.."

"That's not what I'm here for. I need to talk to you-about Mandy." Lip hopped out of the truck.

"What about her?" Lip was fucking clueless.

"She's pregnant." Mickey got right to the point, he didn't want to make the conversation any longer than it had to be.

"With my kid? Why are you telling me and she isn't? Mickey rolled his eyes.

"Yea it's your kid. She's not here telling you 'cuz she thinks that you're gonna be a fucking dick to her and deny the kid." Lip's eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly.

"Why would she-fuck-Karen." Lip was talking to himself, Mickey knew that.

"She think's you're going to compare her to Karen. And if you even try that shit, I'll kick your fucking ass."

"I wouldn't do that to Mandy. She's not Karen. I love her." Mickey wanted to believe Lip and deep down he really did.

"Tell her that, fucking not me." Mickey walked away; he knew Lip was following him. He just went straight back to his apartment. Lip followed him in. Mandy was still sitting on the couch, still playing the game.

"So what'd-" She stopped mid-sentence when she saw Lip behind Mickey.

Mickey really didn't want to listen to them talking; he went straight into his bedroom. He flopped onto the bed, lit another cigarette turned some fucking music on.

_(Since Mickey can't hear what Lip and Mandy are saying I will be switching to Mandy now. I'll go back to Mickey before the end, don't worry.)_

She couldn't fucking believe Mickey let Lip follow him.

"So did he tell you?" Lip nodded and sat down next to her.

"Do you want to keep it?" Part of her did want to keep the baby, she didn't want to give it away, but she didn't know if she wanted to actually have it either.

"Yea, I think I do." Lip smiled and nodded.

"We can do this together. I'll get another job and we can live together and be a family." Mandy nearly laughed at him, was he really that stupid? Did he really think it could work? Them being a family. Mandy wanted that but her and Lip being a family _couldn't _work, _wouldn't _work.

Mandy shook her head.

"No, that won't work. We're fucked for life. Born on the wrong side of Chicago, to the shittiest families in the entire town. Being successful isn't possible. Not for us."

"We can fucking try Mandy." Mandy just shook her head again.

"Fuck. Mandy, we can make it work-I love you." Did he really mean it or was it all a lie? No one had ever loved her. No one ever loved her, except Mickey.

"Yea fucking right Lip, whatever you say."

"I mean it Mandy. I really do. I love you. If I didn't, do you really think Mick would have let me come here? If he didn't fucking believe me he would've punched me. Do you see any fucking bruises?" Mandy shook her head again.

"You really want to try this? Try us? For real." Lip kissed her. She could almost taste the love in his kiss.

She knew he meant it.

_(Okay now back to Mickey.)_

It had been almost a fucking hour; he had to piss. He didn't give a fuck if they were done talking or not. He shut the music off and headed for the door.

The first thing he saw when he opened the door was Lip's ass.

"WHAT THE FUCK MANDy? ON MY FUCKING COUCH?"

"SHIT!" Mickey's not sure which one of them said it; he thought it was Lip but it might have been Mandy.

"I'm not gonna fucking say sorry. You fucked my boyfriend." That was definitely Mandy. Why the fuck she had to pull the you fucked my boyfriend card, Mickey'll never know.

"What the fuck ever. You both better have fucking clothes on by the time I'm done pissing." He slammed the bathroom door behind him.

Sd he pissed thoughts swirled in his brain. Fucking stupid assholes. Why the fuck did they have to fuck on his couch? Why the fuck did they have to remind him that he wasn't fucking anyone. He didn't want to fuck just anyone, he wanted to fuck Ian. He wanted to fuck _his_ red-head. He _needed_to fuck Ian. He was craving that red hair, boney hips, freckled flesh. In the midst of his thoughts, he subconciously slammed his fist through the wall.

"Fuck!" It hurt like a bitch.

He washed his hands; flecks of paint, plaster and blood swirled down the drain.

"What the fuck did you do in there Mick?" Mandy must have heard his fist go through the wall; or maybe she could just see the smear of blood across his knuckles.

"Looks like he decided to put his fist through the wall." Lip laughed as he spoke.

"Shut the fuck up." Mickey really wasn't in the mood for this shit.

"Why the fuck are you still in my apartment anyway? Don't you think you should have left after I caught you fucking on my couch?"

"Fuck, don't be a dick. Just 'cuz you aren't getting any." Mandy was just teasing him, but it was really pissing him off.

"Get the fuck out." Neither moved.

"Now." Mickey lit a cigarette; it was his last one. He really needed to stop smoking so much.

They still didn't move.

"Aw, poor Mick. He needs to get fucked." Mickey practically growled at his sister.

"OUT MANDY, NOW!" He was yelling, at his baby sister, he never yelled at her.

"Ooh, moody aren't ya?" He knew Mandy was just fucking around, he _knew _she was. She always did shit like that, but it was really pissing him off this time.

Mickey's cigarette was almost gone, he put it out in the ashtray and walked out the front door, which he left open. As he walked out he yelled back at them.

"You both better be gone when I get back."

He was going to get more cigarettes and some beer and maybe some vodka.

When he got back to the apartment a half hour later the door was shut and they were gone. Mickey was relieved. He had bought a carton of cigarettes, a bottle of cheap vodka and a twenty-four pack of beer.

It'd all be gone by morning.

_Note To Readers-There is it, chapter six. Let me know what you thought.-Alayna_


	8. Chapter 8

_Note To Readers- This chapter is going to take place about three weeks after the events of the last chapter. And, sadly, it is going to be pretty short. I'm having a little trouble with some writers block; it's not that I don't know what to write, it's that I don't __**know **__how to write. If that makes any sense. -Alayna_

Mickey had just gotten to see Ian's face for the first time in months.

He turned the computer off and flopped back onto the couch. He was happy, but sad. He really wished he could have touched Ian, kissed him, felt his skin; that shit was fucking really _gay _but Mick craved it.

He was turning into more of a fag everyday; he hated it.

He wanted the kid back _**now**_; it wasn't going to happen though, the kid still had about a year left; in his last letter he told Mickey that he had been informed that he would still be deployed for _at least _ten months. The kid's time over there could get still get shortened; but then again it still could become longer. Mickey didn't want to get his hopes up, so he didn't like thinking about how much longer it would be.

Mickey lit a cigarette and decided to call Mandy; he was still mad at her for what happened a few weeks ago, but he wanted to talk to someone.

"What'd ya want douche bag?" Mickey snorted.

"Nothing bitch. Just wanted to see how you were doing?"

"Doing alright. What's with the sudden interest?" Mickey exhaled loudly.

"Just got done talking to Ian." He didn't need to go into detail; Mandy would understand.

"How is he doing?"

"Seems to be doing good but he looks-different. Like tired or something. I don't know."

"Are you-fuck, I don't know-worried about him?" Mickey rolled his eyes despite the fact that she couldn't see him.

"No, why the fuck would I be?" He was lying, he really was worried about Ian.

"I know you're fucking lying Mick." He wanted to hang up on her; but he should have expected her to see through the lie.

"Yea, okay so I'm worried about the kid, whatever. It's not a big deal."

"If it wasn't a big deal you wouldn't have mentioned it; you wouldn't have called me."

Fuck, she did have a point. If he didn't want to talk about it he wouldn't have called.

"Whatever. I just miss the kid, ya know?" She laughed slightly.

"Yea, I do know. I miss him too. We all do." Mickey nodded.

"And fuck Mandy, I need to get laid." Mickey had a momentary lapse of sanity and mentioned sex; he regretted it, instantly.

"The fuck someone." Mickey snorted. Was she really that stupid?

"Are you fucking stupid? Ian would kick my ass."

"Are you trying to tell me that you haven't fucked anyone other than Ian?"

"Bitch don't ask stupid questions."

"You really love him don't ya?"

"Shut up." Mickey meant for the words to sound forceful; they didn't, _at all_.

"Aw, Mick loves Ian. That's so sweet. I didn't think you were_ able _to love someone." She really had doubted him? Fuck, he did understand why she thought that way, if he was someone else and saw the way he acted, the way he treated people, he wouldn't think he was capable of loving someone either.

"I'm turning into more of a fag every fucking day. Is it obvious?" Mandy laughed at him.

"No, dumb ass. If I didn't know you were gay, I would never peg you as the type who likes it up the ass." Mickey laughed at that.

"I love your fucking choice of words." She laughed in his ear for a few seconds.

"Shit, I gotta go, Lip's back. I'll talk to ya later, alright?" Mickey rolled his eyes, _fucking Gallagher's_.

"Yea, whatever skank."

"Love you too Mick." He hung the phone up and sighed.

His mind was racing; what the fuck was wrong with Ian? He didn't look right when Mickey talked to him. He looked like he was cracking.

Mickey shook his head and stood up. He wanted to take a shower, he hadn't had one in a while and he was beginning to be able to smell himself.

While in the shower all Mickey could think of was Ian's face, his freckled cheeks, his warm wet mouth.

Mickey's dick finally got hard; first time in months.

He stroked himself quickly; he thought about Ian's lips wrapped around him, his tongue swirling around the tip.

His release hit the shower wall quite quickly.

Mickey shut the water off; stepped out and dried off with a towel that was laying on the floor. If he had to guess he'd say it was the same towel he used the last time he showered.

Mickey fell onto his bed, still naked and slightly wet.

Thoughts of Gallagher still raced through his mind.

Mickey fell asleep content and partially satisfied; he still wanted to fuck _his _red-head.

_Second Note To Readers- Alrighty, there it is. The next chapter I am going to skip ahead again, I'm not exactly sure how far, but I know that it will be close to the time that Mandy will be having her and Lip's baby. Which also means it will be closer for Ian to come home, something that __**everyone**__(readers and characters alike)are anxiously waiting for. Let me know what you thought of the chapter, as I said before as I wrote it, I was having issues with __**how**__ to write it. So I'm a bit, oh I don't know-nervous about this chapter.-Alayna_


	9. Chapter 9

_Note To Readers- I just want to warn you right now, this chapter is going to be a bit-morose. But it's all part of my plan, my 'writers block' had passed; I know what I want to write and how to write it. -Alayna_

Mickey didn't leave his apartment very often; he just sat on the couch and played xbox, ate microwaved food and cups of jello. He rarely showered; he had gotten used to the smell of himself. The only people who came to see him were Mandy and Lip; Mandy was fucking huge, the baby, a little girl, was due in less than a month. Mickey had spoken to Gallagher via webcam once a week, **every **week since they had started doing it.

Once fucking Fiona showed up at Mickey's door; he didn't let her in. She stood outside yelling at him, saying that she wanted to talk to him; he ignored her, kept killin' shit on the game he was playing.

Over the course of the last six months Mickey had only left his apartment three times. Mandy usually brought him groceries and cigarettes and booze, lots and lots of booze. She didn't like getting him alcohol, he was drunk pretty much all the time, she had once said that he was turning into Terry; he told her to fuck off, said that if she didn't like him drinking then she didn't need to come over and move.

The three times he had gone out; he always went to the same place, the same corner store he had gone to when he had first gotten back to Chicago. The first time he went to the store he bought three bottles of vodka, two twenty-four packs of cheap beer, a bottle of bourbon and two carton's of cigarettes. The following two times he went to the store the amount of alcohol and cigarettes doubled.

Mickey felt out of place, he felt like he wasn't himself anymore.

He was depressed; anyone could see that. Mandy and Lip both thought that he was depressed because of Ian; but it was so much more than that.

Mickey felt worthless. He wasn't wanted or needed by anyone. Sure Mandy said she _needed _him, but she was a big girl, she could take care of herself, and she had Lip. What did she need Mickey for? Nothing.

Ian needed him; he didn't need Mickey to protect him, he could protect himself, but he still _needed _Mickey. They kept each other sane; they loved each other.

Sane, yes Mickey was completely sane; not even close to it.

Mickey felt like he was constantly suffocating; he couldn't breathe. The alcohol and the nicotine helped, made him feel numb; made him forget for _a while_.

Some days when Mickey felt so completely helpless, he would do stupid shit; purposely burn himself with a cigarette, shallowly cut himself with a knife, leave the lighter light lit too long and touch it to the flesh of his arm.

He felt stupid when he did it; but it felt _good_. He would clean up the wound and it would make him feel like he wasn't completely _useless_, like he could still do something.

It was a thursday; around five thirty in the afternoon, when Mickey's cell phone rang. It was Lip.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"It's Mandy," Mickey interrupted him.

"What about her?" He was worried about his sister, he knew she was about ready to pop, but she was still early.

"We're at the hospital. The baby's coming, right now."

Fuck.

"She isn't supposed to come for like another month."

Mick didn't want any thing bad to happen to his sister or his niece.

"Yea, the baby is early, but she should be fine. Just Mandy wants you here."

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Mick, I gotta ask, are you drunk?"

"Fuck, who gives a shit if I'm drunk?"

"I do, I don't want you coming here if you're fucking drunk." Mickey snorted.

"I've only had like three beers today, I'm fine. I'll be there soon, Mandy wants me."

"Yea okay, well no more fucking beer." Mickey hung up the phone and ran to change his clothes and shower, he didn't want to show up at the hospital smelling like sweat, cheap alcohol and stale cigarettes.

His shower took less than five minutes. He dressed in under two.

He was going to take the El, but figured it would be faster if he just ran; it wasn't logical but his brain was cloudy, and his thoughts were racing.

Mandy needed him.

It was still a little bit cold outside since it was early April. His lungs hurt from the cold, but he kept running.

He got to the hospital pretty quickly.

"I need to know what room my baby sister is in?" He was trying to be polite, he still sounded like a dick.

"Name?" The receptionist was an old grey haired woman.

"Milkovich, Mandy Milkovich." The woman nodded.

"Fifth floor, room number One seventy-six." He didn't say thank you or anything just ran to the elevator.

He walked into Mandy's room, she was laying in the bed, hooked up to an IV and some monitor, Mickey guessed it was keeping track of the baby, but he wasn't sure.

"Mick, you came." Mandy sounded tired.

"Of course I did, why wouldn't I?" He sat down in the chair across from her, Lip was sitting next to her.

She smiled at him.

"Maybe you aren't like Terry after all." Mickey growled low in his throat.

"You _know _I'm not like him." She laughed.

"Of course not."

"Look Mandy I don't want to get into an argument with you right now." He was trying to be nice to his sister, she was in a hospital bed for fucks sake.

"I know Mick, I'm sorry. I just-" He stopped her.

"No Mandy, it's fine, don't apologize. I know what's wrong, I know why you're upset. Just calm down okay?"

She nodded. Mickey looked toward Lip, he was just sitting there, he looked a bit surprised at how Mickey was acting. Lip looked a bit on edge as well, but more than that he looked happy; fuck why wouldn't he be? His daughter was going to be born, even if she was early.

A few hours later, around nine Mickey was kicked out of the room for a little while. Mandy was getting an epidural or some shit; Mickey wasn't sure what the fuck it was, but he knew that it would take the pain away.

He went to the cafeteria and got some coffee; he needed to chase the booze away, he could still feel it coursing through his veins. He wasn't lying when he told Lip that he had only had three beers; that didn't mean he had told the truth either.

He did _only _have three beers, but he had also had half a bottle of vodk, but Lip didn't need to know that.

When he finally got back up to Mandy's room, she seemed to be a lot more comfortable.

"So how much longer?" He was getting impatient, he wanted to get this over with. He wanted to see his niece.

"We just gotta wait, they said I'm a little over half way there. It should be soon." Mickey fucking hated waiting.

Mandy started to fall asleep around eleven. Lip fell asleep not long after.

Mickey didn't sleep though. He wanted a fucking cigarette; no smoking in the hospital though. He was glad that it was only thursday, him and Ian were supposed to talk to each other on friday night. If it had been friday and he missed his 'skype date' with Ian he would've been pissed.

Around two a nurse came in to check Mandy's vitals and shit, as well as see how far dilated she was. Mickey wanted to puke, just the thought of someone sticking there fingers in his sister's twat made his stomach turn, and then having to see it, was just to much. He shut his eyes and tried to picture something not as disgusting.

Mickey must have fallen asleep because around four he woke up to Mandy saying she needed the doctor.

Lip was a pretty heavy sleeper; Mickey wasn't. Mickey didn't think twice he just jumped up and ran into the hall to find some one.

There was a nurse, Mickey was pretty sure it was the same one that had been in Mandy's room a few hours earlier, coming out of the room across from Mandy's.

"My sister needs the doctor."

"I'll send someone in a minute sir." Mickey wanted to punch the bitch.

"I don't fucking think you heard me, she needs the doctor **now**." The nurse looked a little offended, but that's what Mickey wanted.

"Of course, right away." Mickey shook his head as she walked away.

He re-entered Mandy's room, Lip was still fucking asleep, Mandy was gripping the sides of the bed.

"Fuck. Are you okay?" Mickey really was worried.

"No, I'm not fucking okay, there is a baby trying to push itself out of me." Mickey flinched a little.

He quickly woke Lip up.

"Wha'?" Mickey snorted.

"Dude take fucking care of Mandy." Lip was fully awake instantly.

"Shit. Mandy did you call for the doctor?"

"Of course not, I'm just gonna fucking do this without her."

"I told a nurse, she said she was telling the doctor right away." Lip just nodded.

A few minutes later three nurses and the doctor entered the room.

After twenty minutes of pushing the baby was out. She was a little small but healthy.

Shortly after Mandy had delivered the baby Mickey moved to hug his sister.

"I'm proud of ya. She's fucking adorable." Mandy smiled.

"Thanks Mick."

They named the little girl Acacia Mikaela Gallagher. They were already calling her Caci.

Mickey thought the name was pretty cute. He didn't comment on the fact that her middle name was pretty much the same as his name; he thought it was really fucking awesome though, that his niece was kinda sorta in a way named after him.

A few hours later Mandy was asleep, and Lip was falling asleep in the chair next to her. Caci was in the little moveable crib thing they put the babies in, she was asleep as well. Mickey was wide awake. He pulled out his phone and took some pictures of Caci. He would send them to Ian. And_ maybe _keep a few for himself.

Around noon he went back to his apartment, he promised Mandy he would be back the next day; he still felt like he wasn't there, he still felt like he was suffocating but he was happy.

_Note To Readers- There ya go. Let me know what you thought. Oh and I don't want anyone to think that Mickey is going to start like cutting himself or anything like that; because that totally __**isn't**__ something Mickey would do. Also I don't want any of you to think that after Ian comes home it's going to end, I've still got some ideas for what I want to do once he is home, so don't think this story will be ending soon because it won't be. -Alayna_


	10. Chapter 10

_Note To Readers- This chapter is going to be a little shitty, but __**if **__I have time later I will be writing and uploading the next chapter and it should be a lot better. -Alayna_

When Mickey got home, he decided to take a nap, he was fucking exhausted; he had only slept a few hours at the hospital.

He only slept for two hours.

It was two thirty.

Fuck.

His 'skype date' with Ian was in a ten minutes.

He lit a cigarette and grabbed his laptop.

He needed to piss, he ran to the bathroom; when he got back he had just under two minutes.

Ten minutes later he was lost in conversation with Ian.

"Shit. I forgot to tell you, Mandy had the baby last night." Mickey couldn't believe he hadn't forgotten to tell Ian about Caci; she was all he could think about, until he saw the red-head's face.

"Really? Isn't she early? Is she okay?" The kid looked worried.

"Yea, she's fine. Name's Acacia, Caci. She's fucking adorable." Shit, Mickey hadn't meant to say that out loud. Ian actually fucking said 'Aw' at Mickey, that made him want to punch the kid in the face.

"Don't get all fucking soft on me Gallagher. But uh..I got some pictures of her, if you want me to send 'em to you." The familiar wide grin spread across Ian's face, and for once, he didn't look so upset, he actually looked happy.

"Yea, I want 'em. Does she look like Lip? I hope she doesn't, Lip's my brother and all but he's fucking ugly." Mickey laughed.

"She looks more like Mandy, but her nose kinda looks more like Lip's. I feel bad for her." Ian laughed at that.

Mickey was glad he could make Ian laugh; he had doubts, even though he talked to the kid **every** week he felt like he wasn't-_good_ enough for the kid or something. He felt like everything was different; like he wouldn't _know _how to make Gallagher laugh, or how to touch him to make him feel good, or how to treat the kid like he was the most precious thing in the entire world, without looking like a complete fag.

"So Mick, how've you been doing?"

Fuck. Mickey had been hoping that Ian wouldn't ask that, but he knew the kid would, he always did.

"Uh, fine." That wasn't true, Mickey was **far **from fine.

"Okay, that's good." Ian looked skeptical; Mickey knew that he didn't believe him, why the fuck should he? Mickey was usually a really good liar, but lately he had been slipping, at least when he tried to lie to the red-head.

"I've been doing okay, getting kinda excited, only a couple months and I'll be coming home." Mickey's jaw clenched. He couldn't wait for those months to be over; at the same time, he was fucking terrified of those months ending. He was afraid of Ian coming home; it was the what he wanted, but he didn't know if he would be able to handle it. He still constantly had dreams about Ian and a family and shit that Mickey didn't want to deal with.

Shit that he _wanted_ but was afraid to _have_.

"Yea, well don't expect me to be all fucking girly and scream and run to you when I pick you up." Ian laughed.

"I know you won't act like that. I don't expect it. Actually I'm expecting you to punch me or something." Mickey rose an eyebrow and cocked his head to the left a bit.

"Why would I hit you Gallagher? Do something I should be pissed off about?" Mickey ran his tongue across his bottom lip, then followed it with his thumb.

Ian rapidly shook his head.

"Fuck no. What would I do over here? Fuck some sand instead of your ass?" Mickey snorted.

"Fuck sand? Really Gallagher? That's about the stupidest thing I've ever fucking heard."

Ian just grinned at him; he couldn't help but smile back.

"I know we haven't talked about it before but you know, if you have fucked some-" Mickey interrupted him.

"We aren't having this fucking conversation." Had Ian gone fucking crazy? Why the fuck would he think Mickey wanted to talk about _that_?

"But Mick, if you have or you want to, I really don't care." Ian was starting to piss Mickey off.

"I said we aren't having this conversation."

"But-"

"No."

"I know you're fucking someone else, I just hope you stop once I'm back." Mickey almost, _almost _punched the computer screen.

"I AIN'T FUCKING ANYONE, I DON'T WANT TO FUCK ANYONE!" Mickey was yelling; as soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to punch himself. Why the fuck did he just tell Gallagher that he wasn't fucking anyone else and that he **didn't want **to fuck anyone else? Fuck.

"What?" Ian actually seemed surprised.

"Exactly what I fucking said. I didn't stutter." The words came out as barely a whisper.

Ian didn't say anything for a few minutes, neither did Mickey.

"I gotta go Mick. My times almost up." Mickey stayed silent but nodded; the kid could see him so why did he need to talk.

"I love Mickey." Again Mickey nodded. Mickey wanted to say it back, he wanted to tell Ian that he loved him; but he hadn't said those words out loud in **so **long, he didn't know if he would be able to. But he had to do it, he just had to.

"I love you too." He didn't yell but it felt like he did.

Ian smiled at him and then his face disappeared.

Mickey wished he had more time to talk to him; but he only had a couple months until he would get to see the kid, face to face.

Mickey lit another cigarette, the one he had lit before talking to Ian had long ago burnt out in the ashtray; wasted.

_Second Note To Readers- Let me know what you thought. I'm sorry that it's pretty short, but I didn't really know how to make this chapter longer, plus I really want to get to the next chapter but I needed to have Mickey talk to Ian first. -Alayna_


	11. Chapter 11

_Note To Readers- The beginning will be a like a re-cap of what's happened within the last few months, since Caci was born. But that __**is not **__what the entire chapter will be. -Alayna_

Caci was healthy but since she was early she was kept in the hospital a few extra days, Mandy balled when she found out Caci had to stay and she was forced to go home; Caci came home less than a week later.

Lip was at work when Caci was released and Mandy was super paranoid and didn't want to drive alone with Caci, she _forced _Mickey to go with her and drive since he had his license and Mandy felt comfortable with him; he walked to Mandy and Lip's place then drove to the hospital.

The ride there was uneventful; the ride home however was not. Nothing bad happened but the entire time Mandy kept telling him to slow down and to turn more carefully. Mickey just rolled his eyes, and complied.

When Caci was a month old Mandy brought her to Mickey's apartment.

"Mick I really need you're help." He blew smoke out through his nose and flicked the ashes into the ashtray.

"With what?"

"Lip's at work 'til six and I've gotta work at three. I need you to watch her for a few hours." Mickey would do a lot of shit for his sister, he'd kill for her if need be, but being left **alone **with her baby; Mickey didn't know if he could do that.

"Why can't you get a Gallagher to watch her? There's like a million of them." Mandy snorted and roller her eyes.

"I could but I don't want to ask them, and besides it's not like you've got anything to do. You just sit around here playing xbox and shit." It was Mickey's turn to snort and roll his eyes.

"That's not _all _that I do."

"Just please Mick. I already texted Lip and told him to pick her up here." Fucking sneaky bitch.

"Fuck Mandy. Yea, whatever. I'll watch her."

And that is what started Mickey's three hours of pure hell, it wasn't that Caci did anything too terrible; Caci was a good baby, she didn't even cry at him.

She did shit once though; Mickey almost threw up when he changed her.

But the entire time Mickey was alone with her all he could think about was what if he had a kid? What if Gallagher was back and they had a baby? He tried to push the thoughts from his mind, because all they were doing was pissing him off, because he _knew _that him and Ian would probably never have a kid, which really depressed him.

Mickey fed her at four like Mandy had told him. She went to sleep shortly after.

She didn't wake up again until Lip picked her up.

After she was gone, Mickey _almost _cried.

Two weeks before Ian was supposed to come home Mickey was visiting Mandy and Caci; he tripped on some fucking toy that was on the steps and fell down and broke his fucking arm.

He was fucking pissed. It wasn't gonna be healed by the time Ian was home.

The night before Ian came home was a sunday, Mickey spent all day cleaning the apartment up, although he wasn't really sure why; Ian _knew _that Mickey was a very messy person.

Mickey didn't sleep at all that night; he just laid there thinking about what it was going to be like once Ian was home.

He counted down the hours, minutes and seconds until he would be waiting in the airport, searching for that bright red hair.

Ian's plane was supposed to arrive at ten; Mickey arrived at the airport at nine thirty. He kept telling himself that he was only early because he didn't have anything else to do.

At nine fifty-two they announced over the loudspeaker that the flight was going to be about a half an hour late, something about fog or some shit; Mickey stopped paying attention after they said Ian's flight number and delayed.

He slumped down in one of the uncomfortable chairs and waited.

Almost an hour later the plane was finally landing; Mickey nearly jumped out of his chair; he felt like a fucking dumb ass for being so excited.

Soldier after soldier walked in and was greeted by family members, wives, husbands, children, parents.

After atleast twenty men and women had walked in, Mickey finally saw him.

He saw Ian's hair first; he had cut it, it had been a quite a bit longer just three days earlier when they had video chatted.

Mickey's heart lept into his throat as Ian walked toward him; he tried to keep his face blank, but he was struggling.

"Mick." When Ian spoke, Mickey couldn't hold it back, he smiled.

"Firecrotch." Ian's eyes widened, clearly surprised that Mickey had used _that _name in front of everyone.

Mickey could tell just by the way Ian was staring at him that he wanted to hug him; Mickey really didn't wanna do that kind of shit in front of everyone, but he did it anyway, he told himself he was _**only **_doing it for Ian; but he was doing it for himself as well, he really did want to hug the red-head.

As he pulled away from the embrace he grabbed Ian's hand; **not **to hold it, definitely not, he did it so he could pull Ian toward the exit. He wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

They grabbed Ian's luggage, not that he had much, just the two duffel bags he had taken with him over there as well as a backpack full of shit, and headed for the car. Lip had immediately offered to let Mick borrow his car; Mickey had actually said thank you.

The ride to the apartment was pretty silent; it almost seemed tense.

Lip had told Mickey to just bring the car back the next day or whatever; he didn't need it, they still had the car that Mandy drove. Besides, they were all meeting at the Gallagher house for dinner at six thirty.

Once inside the apartment Mickey threw Ian's bags into the bed room while Ian looked around, which was a bit odd since the apartment was pretty fucking small, just the living room, kitchen and bathroom other than the bedroom.

Mickey lit a cigarette, nervously and sat on the couch waiting for Ian to come out of the bedroom. Once he had looked around the red-head said something about changing his clothes.

Mickey sucked on the cigarette as if his life depended on it; he felt really nervous and he didn't even know why.

Ian came out and grabbed the cigarette from Mickey's grasp and took a drag.

"Fuck I've missed that." Mickey snorted and grabbed his cigarette back and extended the pack and lighter to him.

"Then smoke one. Don't fucking try to steal mine." Ian just shook his head a took a cigarette and lit it.

"Alright, I'm just gonna fucking say it, I fucking missed you Mick." Mickey rolled his eyes.

"Stating the obvious there Gallagher." Ian softly laughed.

Mick looked at Ian's face, the kid had changed, not a lot but enough that Mickey could see the differences; Ian still looked tired, like he had when they video chatted, but also the kid looked older, almost enough that Mickey felt a little weird thinking of him as 'kid', but fuck Ian was still younger than him so it was okay.

While Mickey was lost in his mind, thinking about the red-head; Ian leaned in and kissed Mickey.

Mickey was brought out of his mind quite quickly, his instincts told him to pull away, so he did. Ian's face fell; he looked like he was gonna cry.

Fuck.

"You don't want to kiss me?" Ian had tears falling down his face and was fucking whining; Mickey couldn't handle that shit.

"Oh fuck, c'mon don't cry, you just surprised me that's all." It was like Ian hadn't even heard what Mickey said, he just cried harder.

"Fuck." Mickey didn't know what to do, his heart was telling him to pull Ian into his arms and comfort him but his brain was telling him that doing that was completely fucking gay.

Mickey just sat there watching and listening to Ian cry; he couldn't take it.

His heart won; he pulled Ian into his arms.

"Hey, shh. Listen it's okay. I love you." Mickey loved saying those words to Ian but at the same time he felt like the gayest person alive, he felt like if anyone heard him say those words they would shoot him; kill him instantly, for being in love with another man.

Ian sniffled a bit.

"I-I lo-love you too."

Ian stopped crying pretty soon after that.

"You know I wasn't just crying because you didn't kiss me right?" No, really Mickey had no fucking clue why he had been crying; Ian was used to not getting kissed by Mickey, Mick wasn't and probably never would be a very 'kissy' sort of person, so if it was the kiss that had upset him then he had over-reacted, but Mickey knew it wasn't the kiss that had upset Ian; but he knew that it was something, something big.

"I kinda figured that out, so why were you crying?" Mickey sounded a bit rude, but fuck, that was just the way he spoke.

"I just-this all-it's so overwhelming. I mean, I've been looking forward to this since you were sent back here, but not that I'm here with you-it just seems like it can't be real. It's too much." Mickey could understand that, he felt the exact same way.

"Don't think you're the only one." Ian tilted his head to the right a bit, and looked as if he was analyzing Mickey's words; try to decipher exactly what Mickey meant.

"Oh fuck Gallagher, don't look at me like that." Ian looked like he had just figured out the hardest math equation in the entire universe.

"Are you saying that you feel the same way?" Mickey groaned.

"Fuck, how many times do I have to tell you, no stupid questions. Shit." Mickey confirmed that yes, he felt the same way, and Ian knew it.

_Note to readers- Okay I __**have**__ to end there, I was gone all day, and had no time to write, now it is 11 pm. And, this has __**NOTHING**__ to do with the story or the progress of it or anything but I want you all to know that last night, I had a little bit of an issue, and I cut all my hair off. Don't ask why, because I'm not entirely sure, but it's pretty interesting now. It's super super short. -Alayna_


	12. Chapter 12

_Note To Readers-I'm going to be attempting to write this as an Ian chapter. __**And **__sex all in one chapter. Wish me luck. -Alayna_

Ian didn't feel right, Mickey kept saying that it was 'their' apartment, but Ian hadn't been there when it was rented, he hadn't been there to help pay the rent, he hadn't slept in the bedroom or cooked in the kitchen or sat in the living room watching tv, fuck he hadn't even pissed in the bathroom; it_ wasn't_his, it was Mickey's.

Part of Ian was telling him to run to his old home, the one that Fi, Jimmy, Debs, Carl and Liam still lived in, and hide in his old bedroom; the other part of him was telling him to stay with Mickey, that being with Mickey was where he was supposed to be, where he _belonged_.

Ian found it odd that Mickey hadn't imediately tried to fuck; Mickey used to jump him any chance he got, but now that Ian was back, and they were alone in _their_apartment, Mickey did nothing.

Ian wanted to fuck Mickey, he wanted to fell Mickey's flesh beneath his hands, he wanted to feel the warmth of Mickey; but Mick didn't even hint that he wanted to fuck.

Ian wanted to scream out in frustration, he wanted to grab Mickey and pull his clothes off and fuck right there in the living room; but he didn't, because what if Mickey didn't want to fuck him? What if Mickey was really fucking someone else? Mickey said he wasn't, said he didn't want to, but Mickey was a good liar.

They were supposed to go to his old home for dinner with the rest of the Gallagher's, and Mandy and Caci at six thirty; Ian didn't want to wait that long, he needed something to distract himself.

He took one of Mickey's cigarettes and lit it, while Mickey was playing xbox, it seemed to be a bit of a challenge with that fucking big bulky cast on his arm.

Ian blew smoke into Mickey's face, just to see if it would get his attention; it didn't.

"Can I ask you something?" Mickey didn't even look away from the screen, just continued killing shit.

"As long as it isn't stupid." Ian took a deep breath.

"Why aren't you trying to fuck me?" That got Mickey's attention, he paused the game and set the controller down. He turned toward Ian.

"What?" His voice was dangerously low, from what Ian could tell, Mickey was mad.

"I've been back for hours now and you haven't tried to touch me at all." Mickey snorted and took the cigarette from Ian.

"Hey don't take my fucking cigarette."

"They are my fucking cigarettes Firecrotch, I'll take it if I want." He paused to take a drag.

"If you're really that impatient, we could fuck now." Mickey smirked and blew smoke out of his nose.

Ian couldn't tell if Mickey was serious or not.

"Are you just being a dick or what?" Mickey laughed.

"Fuck Gallagher. Do you wanna keep talking or you wanna get one me? We gotta go to dinner soon, so make up you're mind, fuck now or wait." Mickey put the cigarette out in the ashtray and stared at Ian.

Ian didn't know what to do; his instincts told him to just pull his clothes off and fuck Mickey, but his head said wait.

He pulled his shirt over his head and looked at Mickey, waiting for him to do the same; Mickey slowly pulled his shirt off, it got stuck on his fucking cast and Ian heard it rip a little, Mickey didn't seem bothered by it, he just tossed it across the room.

Ian stared at Mickey's chest, it had been a long time since he had seen it. He reached out and placed his hand flat against Mickey's skin.

Mickey ran his tongue along his bottom lip and cocked an eyebrow at Ian; as if daring him to do more.

Ian dragged his nails down Mickey's chest, leaving red nail marks; Mickey's face twisted slightly and he bit his lip as if trying to hold in a moan.

Ian stood and removed his pants, Mickey did the same.

Soon they were both standing naked in front of the couch.

Mickey moved first, he reached over and twisted Ian's nipple; the red-head couldn't hold the moan in.

Ian pushed Mickey back down onto the couch and kissed him. Their teeth clanked uncomfortably. Mickey's tongue fought with Ian's; in the end Ian let Mickey win.

Ian gripped Mickey's hips, leaving bruises; Mickey wrapped his legs around Ian waist.

Ian eye's scanned the room for any substance they could use as lube. Mickey groaned in anticipation.

"C'mon, just fucking do it." Ian hesitated; Mickey spit in his hand and rubbed it on Ian's cock.

Ian quickly began pushing into Mickey, aparentlly to slow becuase Mickey pushed back and caused Ian to completely sheathed within seconds.

Ian thrust slowly, wanting to savor it; Mickey wasn't having that.

"Fucking go faster Gallagher."

Ian quickly complied earning himself a loud moan from Mickey.

Soon Mickey's muscles contracted and his cum coated his and Ian's chests.

Ian couldn't handle it, he spilled his seed deep inside Mickey.

He colapsed onto of Mickey, both were covered in sweat.

"Fuck, now we gotta shower." Mickey laughed.

"You can shower if ya want, I'm not." Ian shook his head.

"But I thought maybe I could blow ya while we were in there." Mickey changed his mind pretty quick, Ian could feel Mickey getting hard again.

Mickey pushed Ian off of him and slowly walked to the bathroom, Ian sat there dazed, realizing what had happened and what was going to happen.

Mickey looked back at him.

"Are you comin' or what?" Ian grinned and followed Mickey into the shower.

_Second Note To Readers- Alright I've gotta end there, let me know what you thought. I tried my best. -Alayna_


	13. Chapter 13

_Note To Readers- First I want to apologize for that last chapter, lets all be honest it was pretty bad. Let me tell you why: Number 1, as I've said before I am horrible at writing sex, and attempted it in the last chapter was a bad idea. Number 2, I am more comfortable writing Mickey. Number 3, Trying to write a sex scene from Ian's POV was a very bad decision. Number 4, I felt very awkward writing that chapter, especially since my mother was standing next to me the entire time, I can't stand it when people watch me write, I feel as if they are judging my work before it is complete and it causes me to make mistakes. So to make up for it, I am going to try and write a better sex scene in this chapter, but from Mickey's POV, my comfrort zone. Alright now that this super long note is over, onto chapter 12._

After the shower they got into the car and headed to the Gallagher house, they could have walked, it really wasn't far, at all. But Mickey liked driving so he did.

They were almost late, it was six twenty-seven when they got there.

All the Gallagher's flocked around Ian, they were all hugging him and asking how he was; Mickey just stood in the corner, not saying or doing anything, just watching Ian, almost as if he was making sure the red-head wasn't going to vanish.

No one spoke to Mickey, not even Mandy. She was to busy showing Caci to her uncle Ian.

As Ian held Caci, Mickey watched and couldn't help but picture Ian holding _their_baby; it was a stupid thought because he knew they weren't going to have a kid, hell for all he knew Ian wouldn't even want a kid.

They all sat around the living room, all still talking to Ian. Mickey wasn't paying attention to anything they were saying. He was talking to himself in his head, it seemed a little bit crazy, but fuck, Mickey wasn't exactly sane.

He thought he heard his name, but he wasn't sure.

"Mick?" Shit.

"What?" Ian shook his head.

"Did you even hear what I said?" Fuck, Ian had been calling his name.

"Uh-" Ian sighed.

"Mandy said that you watched Caci alone about a month ago, I just said that would have been interesting to see. And then I asked you what you did when you were alone with her."

"Oh. It wasn't so bad, she shit then I fed her then she slept. It was pretty simple." Ian just smiled and nodded.

And then it was just silent, well it wasn't silent they all were talking, but none of the words were directed at Mickey, and he was pulled back into his mind.

Even if Ian wanted a kid, which one of them would father the kid? Who would they get to have the baby? Mickey _knew_Ian would never want to fuck a chick to have a kid, and even though Mickey wouldn't like it it, he would do it, if it meant they would have a baby.

Fuck, why the hell was he thinking about kids? Oh that's right, he was thinking about babies because fucking Gallagher was holding Caci. The red-head holding Caci looked so natural.

A short time later, Fiona announced that dinner was ready; it was just as chaotic as the last time Mickey had ate with them.

And like last time no one spoke to Mickey. Mandy and Lip ocasionally said a few words to him, but they didn't have conversations with him. Ian didn't speak to him, he was to busy answering his questions from his family.

Mickey didn't mind being ignored; in fact he liked it, it meant that he didn't have to pretend he was nice.

Mickey ate pretty quickly, unlike the last time; he wanted to get away from the table quicker.

He didn't exactly feel like he was drowning in Gallagher's as he had the last time, but he still felt uncomfortable. He still felt like he couldn't breathe. It was too crowded in the small cluttered house.

As soon as his plate was empty Mickey stood and walked into the living room, he flopped onto the couch and lit a cigarette.

He focused on inhaling the nicotine and stared at the wall.

Before the cigarette was gone, someone sat next to him. He didn't look at the person so he had no idea who it was, until they spoke.

"Are you okay?" Fuck, Ian followed him.

"Fine."

"Are you sure? You haven't said much since we got here. You're acting like a dick. You could at least try to be nice." Mickey snorted and took another drag from his cigarette.

"I haven't said much, really? Fuck you Gallagher. Who has even tried to talk to me? No one. So don't pull that you're being a dick card on me, I haven't done shit. I've been being ignored since we got here." Ian didn't say anything else, he just got up and walked away.

Mickey shook his head and got up. He left.

He threw Lip's keys onto the couch and left.

He walked back to the apartment.

He slammed the door behind him.

"**FUCK!**" He yelled into the empty apartment.

Ian hadn't even been home for a fucking day and already they're 'relationship' was fucked.

Mickey didn't know why he expected everything to be perfect.

He was Mickey Milkovich for fucks sake.

He was fucked for life.

Why did he think Ian fucking Gallagher could change that?

Mickey opened another beer and chugged it.

He wanted to forget, he didn't want to think about that fucking red-head anymore.

He drank seventeen more beers and smoked the rest of his pack of cigarettes.

Just as he threw the last can down and put the last cigarette out, the door opened.

"Wha' the fuck do you want Gall'gher?" He was slurring a bit.

"Fuck Mick. How much did you drink?" Ian sounded a bit worried but Mickey really didn't care.

"Fuck off Gall'gher." Ian sat next to him.

"C'mon talk to me, why did you leave like that?" Mickey snorted, stood and stumbled into the kitchen, looking for more alcohol.

"Fuck off." Mickey was getting sick of repeating himself.

"Stop." Ian grabbed Mickey's arm and started to pull him back into the living room. Mickey tried to push Ian away from him; he fell instead, and pulled Ian ontop of him.

"Ge' off me." Ian shook his head. Mickey was too drunk to fight with Ian; he just laid there, under Ian.

"Tell me what happened Mickey." Mickey wanted Gallagher to shut the fuck up. He did the first thing that came to mind; he kissed him.

He didn't waste anytime, he bit down hard on Ian's lip. When the red-head opened his mouth Mickey shoved his tongue down his throat.

Ian's tongue slid so nicely against Mickey's; he couldn't stop himself, Ian swallowed the whiny needy moan-like sound that Mickey made.

Ian pulled away first, he was panting a bit, but so was Mickey.

Ian pulled Mickey up off the floor and pulled him to the bedroom.

Ian was pulling his and Mickey's clothes off as the walked, or in Mickey's case stumbled.

They fell naked onto the bed with a soft thump.

Ian attached himself to Mickey's neck; Mickey's mouth was next to Ian's ear.

"I'm fuckin' you." Mickey's words wasn't slurred that time.

Ian tensed, but didn't stop licking, sucking and biting Mick's neck. Mickey was still beyond drunk, but just the way Ian tensed seemed to sober him a bit.

"That okay with you?" Again he didn't slur.

Ian looked into Mickey's eyes; Mickey could see so much trust and love in them.

Ian nodded.

"Yea." Mickey felt incredibley gay, but he brushed his lips agaisnt Ian's.

"I love you Gallagher." Ian smiled.

"I love you too Mick." Mickey could let this soft mushy shit over take them, so he bit Ian's neck, hard.

"Fuck." Ian practically growled; the sound went straight to Mickey's crotch.

Mickey didn't want to waste anytime, he grabbed the bottle of lube out of the drawer next to the bed. He popped the top and coated a few of his fingers.

He didn't bother asking Ian if he was ready or anything, he just slid his finger inside.

Ian's body stiffened a bit but he relaxed pretty quickly, especially once Mickey hit _that _spot.

He inserted a second finger quickly followed by a third.

Once he thought Ian was ready he slicked himself and slowly slid into the red-head.

He remained still once he was all the way in, he didn't do it so Ian could adjust, _definitely not_, he did it to prevent himself from coming so soon; the heat and tightness of Ian was almost to much.

Ian moved his hips a bit, showing Mickey he was ready, telling him to move.

At first his thrusts were slow, and even. But he quickly lost himself; the pace was fast and hard.

Ian was gripping Mickey's hair with one hand, his other hand was on Mickey's back, his nails biting into his flesh, leaving little red crescent shaped nail marks.

Mickey hit _that_ spot inside Ian repeatedly; Ian nearly screamed **every **time.

Ian came first splashing his and Mickey's stomachs; Mickey wasn't far behind, the contraction of Ian's muscles around him were too much for him to handle.

He colapsed onto of Gallagher, who instantly wrapped his arms around Mickey, preventing him from moving, not that it Mickey had planned on moving.

"Never leave me Ian." Mickey felt weak saying those words, but he didn't want Ian to **ever **fucking leave him, and he had to tell the red-head.

"Not a chance. You're stuck with me." Ian smirked and pulled Mickey closer to him.

They fell asleep that way, Mickey wrapped in Ian's arms.

Despite the shitty uncomfortable bed, Mickey slept like a baby. He hadn't slept that good since their stay in the hotel.

_Second Note To Readers- Let me know how that was, and if it made up for that last craptastic chapter. -Alayna._


	14. Chapter 14

_Note To Readers-Anyone still with me? This chapter may suck a bit, I'm having a bit of trouble deciding how I want to get to the next big thing, but I don't want to just jump into it. Plus I haven't had Mick and Ian interact much recently so I need to get back into the swing of that. -Alayna_

When Mickey woke up, Ian was gone; Mickey panicked, he thought that Ian had left, until he heard the toilet flush.

He felt fucking stupid for freaking out, but he had just told Ian that he never wanted him to leave, and then he's gone when he woke up; Mickey didn't like it.

Ian didn't re-enter the bedroom, that was when Mickey decided it was time to get up.

He was surprised to realize that he didn't have a hang-over.

He didn't bother with putting any clothes on, he just went to the bathroom then to find Ian, who had to be in the kitchen, since Mickey had seen the entire living room before entering the bathroom.

He found Ian sitting at the table drinking coffee. Mickey snatched the cup and took a drink; effectively burning his mouth.

"Fuck." Ian snickered.

"That's what you get for stealing my coffee." Mickey scowled and sat down.

"Do you want your own cup? I'll get it for you." Mickey just grunted; Ian assumed it meant yes.

"Sleep okay?" Fuck what was with all the talking? Oh right, he's Ian, he always fucking talks.

"Great." Mickey wasn't even lying, he did sleep great, he wished he could sleep like that every night, not that he'd actually admit that Ian was the reason he slept so well.

"We need to get a new bed, that one is fucking shit, my back hurts." Mickey laughed.

"You're back doesn't hurt 'cuz of that shitty bed and you know it." Mickey smirked as Ian's face turned bright red.

"Fuck you Mick." Mickey slurped his coffee, without burning himself.

"So what d'ya wanna do today?" Mickey snorted.

"I'm thinkin' about taking this fuck thing off." He shook his cast covered arm in Ian's face.

"Don't be a dumb ass. It isn't healed yet." Mick laughed.

"Your fucking point? I want it off." Ian sighed.

"But-" Mickey interrupted him.

"No buts Gallagher. It's coming off, today." Mickey was going to cut the fucking thing off, he couldn't stand it. It had been on long enough, well maybe not long enough according to that fucking douche bag doctor, but for Mickey it was long enough.

Ian just shook his head.

"So what the fuck is there to eat, I am fucking starving." Shit.

"Look. You know I can't fucking cook, so all you're gonna find is canned shit and frozen stuff." Ian nodded and began going through the cabinets.

In the end Ian decided to just heat up some spaghetti-O's. They weren't the best breakfast food, but fuck, Mickey was out of milk and there was only a hand full of cereal left anyway.

Once their meal was over Mickey decided to put some boxers on, just in-case Mandy or somebody showed up.

"Wanna play xbox?"

"Fuck yea. I'm gonna kick your fucking ass Firecrotch."

"Not with that fucking cast you won't" Ian stuck his tongue out at Mickey, who being Mickey had to do something about it.

He quickly leaned it, before Ian could put his tongue back inside his mouth, and bit the red-head's tongue.

"OW! Dick." Mickey grinned.

"Don't fuck with me Gallagher." Ian pouted for a few seconds then laughed.

Ian handed Mickey a controller.

After about twenty minutes Ian had gotten his ass kicked multiple times.

"Fuck. How do you keep beating me?"

"Skill." Ian's nostrils flared, they always flared when he was mad; Mickey thought it was fucking adorable.

"Calm the fuck down, 's just a game Gallagher."

"But you have a fucking cast on and you're beating me, it isn't fair." Oh fuck, he sounds like a six year old.

"Let's play again." The next time Ian won.

"Ha, I finally beat you." Mickey smiled, yes Ian beat him, only because Mickey _let _him win.

"I'll be back in a little bit, I need cigarettes." Mickey left the room to get dressed, he didn't wait for Ian to say anything.

"Get me a pack? Pwease." Ian asked him just as he was about to walk out the door.

"Yea, sure." And that was it, Mickey left Ian sitting on the couch playing xbox.

Mickey didn't plan on just getting cigarettes; he was gettin' that fucking cast off.

He wasn't really sure where to go, he didn't have a fucking saw to get the damn thing off.

It was a fucking stupid idea, but he went to the Alibi, he had done a favor for Kev a while ago, right after he got back, so Kev owed him. Maybe Kev would have a saw or at least know where Mickey could get one.

"Mick. Haven't seen you in a while."

"Yea, look I need a saw, you got one?" Mickey wasn't wasting time; the fucking cast was heavy and itchy and got in the way.

"Why do you need a saw-wait never mind I don't want to know. Uh, Stan probably has one in the basement, I know he has tools and shit down there so there's probably a saw." Mickey nodded.

"Can I go get it?" Kev tossed a set of keys at him.

"Yea, it's the littlest key." Mickey nodded his thanks and walked out back.

Luckily there was a saw down there, Mickey quickly cut the cast off, he did a pretty good job, he didn't cut himself at all.

His arm hurt like a bitch once the cast was off, but was better than the constant itch.

He walked back into the Alibi and handed Kev the keys. Then headed for the store to get the cigarettes.

He bought himself a carton and just one pack for Ian.

He expected Ian to freak out that the cast was off once he got back to the apartment, but he didn't.

"Aren't gonna say anything?" Ian shook his head and lit a cigarette.

"Nope, it won't do any good. Besides it's your arm that you're fucking up, not mine." Mickey snorted.

"Alright Firecrotch. Whatever you say." Ian rolled his eyes and blew smoke at Mickey.

Mickey's nose crinkled.

"The fuck?" Ian shrugged.

Mickey grabbed the cigarette from Ian, took a drag then put it out. Ian just stared at him with wide eyes.

Ian wasn't expecting what Mickey did, not at all. Mickey tackled him. Ian's head hit the back of the couch with a crack.

"Fuck." The word came out as a hiss, but Ian didn't seem to be in too much pain.

He punched Mickey in the side of the face.

"Bitch." Mickey punched the red-head back, he didn't hit as hard as he normally would have, because fuck, it was Ian he was hitting, and he was only fucking around, but he still hit him.

The rolled around on the couch a bit, punching each other, until they fell onto the floor. Mickey was under Ian, for the second time in less than 24 hours. Mickey's head bounced off the floor.

All of a sudden Ian began laughing, and Mickey had to admit the situation was pretty funny.

They both laughed 'til they had tears in their eyes, 'til their sides hurt, 'til they could barely breathe.

"Fuck."

"What the hell just happened Mick?"

"No fucking clue." That only made them laugh harder.

Their laughter was interrupted by someone knocking.

_Second note to readers- I've got to end there. I've got to go help my mother install an air-conditioner. Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Also who do you think is at the door? -Alayna_


	15. Chapter 15

Mickey groaned and got up to get the door. It was one of Ian's sibblings, the fucking crazy one, Carl.

"Ian here?" Mickey nodded, Carl pushed past him.

"I need to talk to you." Ian hadn't moved from his place on the floor.

"What'd ya want?" Mickey didn't hear the next part of the conversation, he retreated to the kitchen; he wanted a beer.

When he re-entered the living room, Carl and Ian were sitting on the couch talking, it all seemed normal, but Mickey could see that Ian's body was rigid, he could see that Ian was literally and figurativley on the edge.

"Fuck's wrong with you?" Mick gulped down half the bottle.

"It's Debs." Fuck, out of all the Gallagher's, other than Ian, Debbie was Mickey's favorite; he had never really even talked to her or anything, but she seemed the most normal, the most sane.

"What about her?" Mick sat next to Ian.

"Last night after Ian left, we found out Monica killed herself." That fucking cunt, found another way to abandon her kids.

"And that has to do with Debbie how?"

"Monica was bipolar, and Fi and Lip have suspected for a while that Debs is too, and last night after she found out about Monica, she freaked out. She won't get outta bed, just like Monica used to do. She won't talk, she won't eat, she won't do anything. They think she's gonna do something stupid." Mickey understood that, but he didn't understand what the fuck Monica being bipolar had to do with anything.

"What the fuck does it matter that Monica was bipolar?"

"Fucking means that Debbie is too. Lip said she's manic depressive, whatever the fuck that means." Carl was nearly yelling.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Fuck.

Mickey knew what manic depressive was, fuck, his mom was manic depressive.

Fuck.

"That ain't good."

"No shit dumb fuck."

"Hey, Carl knock it off. It's not Mick's fault, don't fucking yell at him."

Carl looked like he wanted to punch something, or someone; he didn't though, he just got up and left.

"I'm scared Mick. What if she does what Monica did? I can't fucking handle that shit again. Not alone." Mickey put his hand ontop of Ian's; it was fucking gay, but he felt that he _needed_ to touch Ian, he _had _to touch Ian.

"You ain't go through anything alone. And Debbie won't do that."

"How the fuck do you know that? How?" Ian was getting a a bit hysterical.

"Calm down Firecrotch. She's gonna be fine." Mickey hated telling Ian that Debbie was gonna be okay, because he didn't really know that she was going to be okay. He hated lying to Ian, but it was necessary.

Nothing happened, nothing at all. Everything was normal.

After a week, Debbie was back to normal, as normal as she could be.

After a month, it was like nothing had ever happened.

There wasn't a funeral for Monica, she was cremated, no one went to get her ashes, Frank wanted to but he got too drunk so he never did.

After two months, no one even thought about Monica. Especially not Ian.

Ian busied himself with getting new furniture for the apartment and painting the walls so they didn't look so fucking nasty.

Mickey on the other hand couldn't give a shit less about the apartment, he constantly was thinking about Ian, he didn't have time to think about furniture or paint or any stupid shit like that.

Mickey was focused on something else, something that was entirely for Ian. Something that Mickey really didn't fucking believe in, something that Mickey thought was fucking pointless despite the fact that he _wanted_ to do it, but **only **with Ian.

It was a fucking stupid concept, it didn't mean shit, except it did, at least it did when Ian was involved.

So despite the fact that Mickey thought it was the stupidest thing ever, he went into that fucking store and paid a shit ton of money for something that was, in Mickey's mind-worthless.

When he walked into the apartment, Ian was sitting on the couch eating some fucking chips looking at paint swatches.

"Aye, Gallagher, I gotta talk to you." Ian put the swatches down and looked up at Mickey.

"I ain't gonna be doing any stupid sappy shit. So here." He handed Ian a small grey box.

Ian's eyes widened a bit as he opened the box. A simple little silver band was inside.

"What is this?" Mickey wanted to roll his eyes, he wanted to tell Ian he was a dumb ass; he didn't.

"You know what it is." Ian's mouth fell open, he didn't speak.

"Are you serious?"

"C'mon Gallagher, that's a stupid question. If I wasn't serious you wouldn't be holding it."

"Do you have one too?" Mickey showed Ian his left hand.

"That answer your question?" Ian smiled, he still seemed to be in shock.

Mickey sat next to Ian, he wasn't gonna do any gay shit and put the fucking ring on him or anything, he just kissed Ian.

Mickey was glad that Ian was happy, fuck he was happy but in the back of his mind he knew how fucking stupid the entire situation was.

He knew that marriage was shit, it was nothing; but maybe with Ian it could be more.

_Note to readers- Alright I'm ending there, it's pretty short I know, but I'm hoping to get the next chapter up pretty quick, like sometime tonight, but it might not happen. Let me know what you thought. -Alayna_


	16. Chapter 16

_Note To Readers-I'm glad the rings surprised you, I didn't want them to be obvious. Also this is just going to be a short one. I don't have much time, plus I'm currently obsessed with the show Oz, so I haven't been very focused on Shameless today. I'm almost finished with the series so don't worry I'll be back to writing this efficiently within a few days. -Alayna_

One of the first fucking things Ian did after Mickey gave him the fucking ring, was fucking tell Mandy.

She acted as if the fucking ring was for her, she wouldn't shut up.

Mickey hated that Ian was telling everyone but it really didn't bother him that Ian was telling people, fuck, his dad died in prison a while ago, Iggy was still locked up, no one had seen Joey in over a year and a half and Nickey didn't bother anyone, he was to much of a pussy to do anything alone.

So it wasn't that Mickey was worried about his dad or his brothers finding out and killing him. It was more that Mickey was worried everyone was going to look at him differently, see him as soft or weak. They wouldn't fear him anymore. And that really bothered the shit outta him.

He didn't want to be seen as weak; he wanted to be feared. Being seen as weak was the same as being seen as a fag, and being seen as a fag wasn't something Mickey wanted. He could admit that he's a fag, that he had no problem with.

Growing up he was taught that fags were weak, he **wasn't **weak; liking cock didn't make him weak.

He couldn't be weak.

He couldn't. He just fucking couldn't.

Mickey felt good about giving the ring to Ian, it made him happy, because Ian was happy.

Some days Mick just sat and stared at the ring on his finger; it was the stupidest thing ever, but it showed that he wasn't alone.

When Mickey was little, he was told that little boys aren't supposed to like other boys, that it was wrong; when Mickey was twelve he realized that he didn't like little girls like Terry and his brother's had told him he was supposed to.

He tried looking at pictures of naked girls, but they didn't really do anything for him.

When he was thirteen he saw some boy, Mickey didn't know his name, naked. And that caused a reaction, Mickey knew what it meant. He knew it meant he liked cock.

When he was fourteen, Iggy and Joey dragged some gay kid, Mickey thought it his name was Travis but he wasn't sure, into their backyard. Iggy and Joey beat the kid until they were covered in blood. They yelled at him, calling him fag and telling him that he was a worthless piece of shit. And Mickey was scared shitless, he was just like Travis, he liked boys not girls. He liked cock. The whole time his brothers were beating him up, all Mickey could think about was, what they were beating me? What if they knew he was a fag?

After Mickey saw what his brothers did, he made sue that his brothers saw him with girls, he made sure they thought he was fucking girls. He really only fucked a girl once, it was terrible, so he fucked guys in secret.

He made sure to cover his ass. He made sure no one found out, all the guys he fucked were terrified of him, so they didn't say shit.

Mickey was terrified that he was going to be alone, he didn't want to get married, marriage was fucking stupid, but he still wanted to be with someone.

When Mickey starred at the ring he thought it was fucking pointless, but it showed that he wasn't alone.

He was afraid of being alone.

"What are you thinkin' about?" He hadn't noticed Ian sit down next to him.

"Nothing important." Ian leaned against Mickey.

"If you say so." Mickey grunted.

"You hungry?" Mick nodded.

"You gonna cook?" Ian nuzzled Mickey's neck.

"Yep. I bought a shit ton of groceries." Mickey remembered that Ian and Mandy went to the store together the day before.

"It better not taste like shit." Ian laughed.

"It won't. I know how to cook, remember? And besides it'll taste better than anything you cook." It was Mickey's turn to laugh, because it was fucking true. He couldn't cook worth shit, everyone knew that.

"Anything specific you want?" Mick shook his head.

"I couldn't care less." Ian nodded and got up, Mick heard cabinets opening and closing, pots and pans clanking and drawers opening in the kitchen.

Mickey turned the tv on, he flipped through the channels idly. There wasn't anything good on. He stopped on some movie channel. He really didn't care what it was, shit was blowing up so he watched it.

A half hour later Ian was bringing him a plate; there was chicken and potatoes and fucking corn.

"You really think I'm gonna eat all this shit?" Ian laughed.

"Of course, why wouldn't you?" Mickey shrugged and took a bite, it was fucking delicious. Mickey had to admit the kid really could cook.

Mickey ate all the food Ian gave him. He was fucking stuffed.

"Food was pretty fucking good Gallagher." Ian smiled at him.

Mickey felt like they were a real family, now the only thing that was missing was the kid; that could wait for a while though.


	17. Chapter 17

Mickey had been trying for weeks to figure out a way to ask Ian about them having a kid. He didn't want to just come out and say it, he didn't want to just come out and say it but he didn't want to just fuck around and have some long as speech that took hours.

He also didn't want to freak Ian out by mentioning it. Fuck the situation freaked him out, but he didn't want it to freak Ian out as well.

It was a saturday when it happened.

Ian had offered to watch Caci for Mandy. Mickey was always happy have Caci over.

Caci had just recently learned how to sit up.

Ian was sitting down on the floor with her, playing with some toys.

She was giggling and Mickey thought it was fucking adorable. The smile on Ian's face made Mickey realize that he wanted to talk to Ian about them having a kid, fucking now.

"Aye, Gallagher. I wanna ask you something." Ian looked over at Mickey, who was sitting on the couch. But quickly looked back at Caci when she giggled.

"Ask." Mickey took a deep breath.

"Have you ever-I mean-do you, fuck, do you want to have a kid?" Ian dropped the toy he was playing with.

"Mick, we're gay. How you plan on us havin' a kid?" Mickey snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Just 'cuz we're fags doesn't mean we can't have a kid. There's ways Gallagher." Mickey didn't want to say it, but he had looked it up, there was this thing where they took your sperm and put it in a chick, no fucking involved, it was a possibility.

Ian didn't say anything.

"Do you want a kid?" Mickey had to know, he had to know if Ian wanted it just as much as he did.

"Fuck. I-yea. I want a kid. I've always wanted a kid. You really want one?"

"Fuck yea." Most people would say Mickey wasn't the type to have kids, they would say he would be a shitty parent. But so far he had been doing a pretty good job being uncle Mickey, and in a way he did raise Mandy; that was different but still he protected her and taught her shit.

Saying Ian was a bit surprised would be understatement. The kid was fucking shocked.

"Really? You really wanna do this?" Mickey nodded.

"Which one of us will-ya know? And who are we gonna get to have it?" Of course Ian would ask that question, but Mickey had an answer ready, he just didn't know if Ian would like it or if the other person would even fucking agree.

"I thought that I could ya know, _be the dad _and so that the kid is related to both of us, your sister could have it."

"Fi?" Mickey nodded.

"I know she doesn't like me, but it's the only option we go, and I want the kid to be related to us both. And I already talked to Mandy a while ago and she said that in a few years, if we want another one, she'll have it. Then you can _be the daddy_." Ian's grin was so wide that Mickey thought his face was gonna split.

"I'll talk to Fi about it right away." Mickey nodded and got down on the floor next to Ian and Caci.

He picked up a toy and it made noise and Caci giggled and Mickey's heart fluttered.

Mickey was tough guy, a cold hearted bastard, a dick, not many people liked him, he was dirt, but to Ian Gallagher he was everything. And with Ian Gallagher he felt like he was king of the fucking world. With Ian Gallagher, he felt like he could do anything. Underneath all the bullshit Mickey really was nice, Mickey really wasn't a heartless prick like everyone thought, he really did care. He just choose not to show it to many people, because showing shit like that could be seen as a weakness, and Mickey had learned long ago not to be weak.

Caci grabbed onto Mickey's hair and yanked. He wanted to yell fuck, 'cuz it did hurt. But since it was Caci, he didn't. He just smiled.

"Caci, it's not nice to pull uncle Mickey's hair." Mickey rolled his eyes at Ian.

"But you pull my hair all the time, uncle Ian." Mickey smirked at the red-head.

"And I like it when you do." No matter what Mickey would always be a sarcastic and would always tease Ian.

Ian laughed at him and began playing with Caci again.

Mickey couldn't wait to be sitting with Ian on the floor, just like they were, playing with _their _baby.

_Note to readers- Alright, I had to put this up, it just popped in my head after I posted that last chapter. Let me know what you thought. -Alayna._


	18. Chapter 18

Ian talked to Fiona the next day. She told him she would think about it, that she still had too much shit going on and that she had to talk to Jimmy first, they had been talking about having a baby for a while.

Ian was pretty disappointing but that didn't stop him, he still tried to come up with a way for the baby to be related to both of them.

If they waited a while, Debs would be eighteen, but that would take far too long, it would still be a few years; they didn't want to wait that long.

Mickey wondered if the kid had any female cousins that would do it, but he quickly realized that even if Ian did have any cousins they probably wouldn't do it; so Mickey didn't even mention it to Ian.

"I'm gonna talk to Mandy again." Ian didn't even look away from the tv screen.

"Why? She said she'd do it in a few years. And Fiona still might do it. We can wait if she won't." Mickey shook his head.

"No, I don't wanna wait. I wanna do it now. I'm talking to my sister." Mickey got up and left, he was headed to Mandy and Lip's apartment, he hoped to fuck that Mandy was home and Lip wasn't.

Mickey didn't really have a problem with Lip, he just preferred to not be around him.

Mandy was home alone, Lip had taken Caci to visit Fi and Jimmy.

"I hate to ask, but I've gotta." Mickey flopped down into the chair.

"Ask what?" Mandy sat on the couch starring at Mickey and twirling a strand of hair between her fingers.

"Will you have Ian's kid?"

"I already told you I would."

"No, I mean-now." Her eyes widened and the strand of hair fell from between her fingers.

"I thought you were gonna get his sister to do it first?"

"We were, but she doesn't think she can do it now. We don't wanna wait, well Ian says he can wait, but I don't want to. Mandy I don't wanna be alone the next time he gets fuck shipped off to fuck knows where." She nodded.

"I have to talk to Lip, but yea. I'll do it. I wanted to wait 'til Caci was a little older but, if Fiona won't do it, I will." Mickey smiled.

"Thank you Mandy. I owe you." She laughed.

"Yea, ya do."

Mickey lit a cigarette.

"Aye, fuck-head what d'ya think you're doing?"

"What? You and Lip smoke it here." She shook her head.

"That's not what I meant. Aren't you gonna go tell your boy?"

Mickey walked to the door.

"See you later?"

"Fuck yea you will." And Mickey left, headed home to see Ian.

When he entered the apartment he didn't see Ian. He looked in the kitchen first but Ian wasn't there, bathroom door was open so he knew Ian wasn't in there. He opened the bedroom door and Ian wasn't there either.

Where the fuck had the kid gone? He left the fucking door unlocked.

Mickey didn't know where the fuck Ian would have went. He didn't know where to look. He decided to call Lip though, see if maybe he had seen Ian; he hadn't.

Fuck.

He called Mandy to see if Ian had shown up there after he left; she hadn't seen Ian for days.

He didn't know who else to call.

He just sat on the couch watching tv waiting anxiously for Ian.

He must have fallen asleep because around eleven he was woken up by Ian slamming the door.

"Where the fuck you been Gallagher?" Ian sat next to him, he looked pissed.

"I was with Kev."

"Doing?"

"Just hanging out, I haven't seen him in a while."

"Anything happen?" Ian snorted.

"No."

"So why are you pissed off if nothing happened?"

"Nothing."

"Stop fucking lying."

"Just fucking drop it!" Ian was starting to yell.

"What the fuck's wrong with you? You were fucking fine when I left."

"NOTHING IS FUCKING WRONG!" Mickey wanted to punch Ian; but he didn't, he didn't want to hurt Ian, but that was a lie, he did want to hurt Ian, he wanted to knock some fucking sense into him, get him to say what the fuck was wrong.

"Stop fucking yelling Gallagher. I know there is something wrong. So just fucking tell me what the fuck happened? Why are you being a fucking prick?" Mickey was trying to remain calm; it wasn't working so well.

"FUCK!" Ian punched Mickey.

Fuck no, Mickey wasn't letting that shit happen.

He punched Ian in the face twice as hard as Ian had punched him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Mickey was yelling, but not half as loud as Ian was.

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!" Mickey pushed Ian away from him.

"What?" Ian looked like he was gonna fucking cry.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. Do you love Mickey? Do you really?" The kid had gone fucking crazy.

"Yea, I fucking do you. You know that. What the fuck is going on?"

Ian was crying now.

"I don't know. Did I do something to make you mad? To make you not love me?" What the fuck?

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about Gallagher. I just fucking told you that I love you. You didn't do shit."

Ian moved closer to Mickey, he put his arms around him and laid his head on Mickey's chest.

"I love you Mickey. So fucking much." What the fuck was going on? Instantly the kid had stopped crying and was professing his love. What the fuck?

"What the fuck is going on Gallagher?" Ian looked up at him.

"What do you mean?"

"You were just screamin' at me, then you were crying now you're fucking happy. What is going on?" Ian just looked at him.

"Oh, well I don't know." What the fuck ever. Mickey really didn't care.

What the fuck was wrong with the kid? Mickey knew something was wrong, he just didn't fucking know what. He'd have to talk to Lip about it, eventually.

_Note to readers- Alright guys, let me know what you thought. Any guesses as to what is wrong with Ian? -Alayna_


	19. Chapter 19

_Note To Readers- No clue what's going on with Ian? You'll find out soon ;) Be patient dears. Also what I'm having happen to Ian actually happened to a few family memebers of mine, I mean it isn't exact, because I've obviously had to change the situations a bit to fit Ian, but these are almost personal experiences. Sorry for not updating for such a long time. I'll tell you why, the 30th was my birthday, the 1st and 2nd my brother was over __**all **__day, the 3rd we have a fourth of july party, the 4th we went to my aunt's house for a cook-out, the 5th was spent watching dvds with my mom, and then today, the 6th I am updating, despite the fact that I was babysitting all day :) So if you're still reading after waiting so long, I thank you. Also this chapter will be a bit short, just because I need to get back into the swing of things, I haven't even thought about how I was going to write this chapter since I last updated. - Alayna._

Fiona had called Ian a few days later and told him that she couldn't do it; she didn't say why; Ian had cried, Mickey punched a wall. But there was still hope, Mandy had talked it over with Lip, and he said go for it.

Ian still seemed upset though

Mickey really didn't care what the fuck Ian's problem was; at least that's what he kept telling himself. But Ian's out bursts were getting to be too much to handle, they were frequent, at first it was just like once a week, then it was once a day, now it was every day, multiple times, sometimes as many as five.

Mickey had gone to pick up some laundry detergent, Ian had been bitching that their clothes needed washed but they didn't have any detergent, when Mickey turned the corner he nearly dropped the bottle of soap.

There were clothes all over the street. Mickey could see Ian throwing them out the window.

Mickey didn't give a fuck about the clothes, he ran up the steps and into the apartment.

"Why the fuck are my clothes out on the street?" Mickey was yelling slightly, but he really wasn't mad, just very frustrated.

"I'm throwing your shit out."

"You've lost your fucking mind."

"FUCK YOU!" Ian spun toward him. Mickey quickly dodged the shoe that was chucked at his head.

"Honestly Gallagher, what the fuck did I do this time?"

"You left me, you fucking asshole." Fuck, the flood gates had opened.

"You sent me out for laundry detergent. I didn't leave you." Mickey tried to be calm, but it was fucking hard; Mickey was starting to crack, he couldn't do it anymore.

Ian didn't speak, he sobbed.

"I can't fucking do this anymore. I'm leaving. You can keep the fucking apartment and all the shit in it, I'll find a new one and get new shit." Mickey hated saying those words, he hated leaving, but the words and the action was necessary; at least he told himself it was.

He grabbed a dufflebag and slammed the door behind him.

Mickey picked his clothes up outside, Ian hadn't thrown anymore, he was probably on the floor sobbing, and put them in the bag.

He wasn't sure where he was going to stay until he had a new place, he could always stay with Mandy, she had told him a million times, but she lived with Lip, Mickey didn't know if he would be able to face Lip.

After walking for about ten minutes, his cell phone rang. It was Mandy.

"Yo."

"Don't fucking yo me, you just walked out on Ian!" She was mad, clearly Ian had called her or Lip.

"Fuck, don't start. I _had_to leave." Mickey could almost hear her roll her eyes.

"You didn't have to fucking leave. What happened?" Mickey groaned.

"Can I come there and explain, please?" She didn't hesitate.

"Right now." He hung up and headed for her apartment.

It didn't take him long to get there, he had been closer than he had thought.

Lip answered the door.

"What the fuck did you do to my brother?" Mickey expected Lip to punch him but he didn't.

"Fuck. Okay remember when I talked to Mandy a like two months ago about the baby thing?" They both nodded.

"Well when I went home that day Ian wasn't there. He came home pretty late and he was pissed. I asked where he was and he told me he was with Kev. I was just like okay whatever, ya know. But he was acting like a fucking prick, I asked what happened? He started screaming at me and he fucking hit me, then he starts crying asking me if I love him, asking what he's done wrong to make me not love him. It made no sense at all." He paused, it hurt to talk about it.

"And then he was fine, and then a few days later it happened again, then it happened again like a week later, and then it was happening once a week and then once a day and now it happens everyday, a few times a day. I just can't take it anymore. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with him." Mandy still looked a bit mad, but almost like she understood. Lip on the other hand looked like he was lost in thought.

After a long five minutes of silence Lip spoke.

"I'm not one hundred percent sure, but what you just said sounds like bipolar disorder. It's not really common for sibblings to have it, but Debs has it and it sounds like Ian does too."

Fuck.

"So what do we do about it?"

Caci began crying in the other room, Mandy stood and left the room silently.

"We have him tested. And if he does have it, then we get him on some pills."

Mickey's head was spinning. How the fuck could this shit get any worse?

"Mick, you stay here tonight and then tomorrow we will **both **go over there and talk to him." Mickey sighed and nodded.

He really hoped that Ian wasn't bipolar, but he knew that if he was, it could be controlled.

Fuck.

Mickey ate dinner and went to sleep shortly after, it was only nine, but he wanted to sleep, he wanted time to go faster.

He fell asleep thinking of Ian.

_Second Note To Readers- I've got to end there, I'm struggling a bit with this. The next chapter will be __**a lot**__ better, I promise. -Alayna._


	20. Chapter 20

_Note to readers- Sorry that I didn't update yesterday, I had to babysit my nephew, it was a last minute sort of thing. I'm going to try to get back to updating every day but I'm having a bit of-I wouldn't call it writers block-but that's kind of what it is. I think my problem is that I was 'neglecting' the Shameless fandom by watching OZ and reading OZ fics, and then for some reason I began reading Ben 10 fics, but I'm getting back into my 'Shameless state of mind' so All should go well from now on. Keep the reviews coming, they honestly make my day when I read them :) -Alayna._

Mickey woke up around eight the next morning. His stomach was in knots and he was shaking. He was fucking nervous.

Lip and Mandy woke up around nine, when Caci started crying.

Mickey sat silently on the couch. His mind was spinning. He felt sick.

"You wanna eat before we go?" Mickey shook his head.

"You can eat if you wanna, I can't." Lip nodded and grabbed a pack of cherry pop tarts off the counter.

"I'll eat 'em on the way. Lets go." Lip grabbed his keys and headed out the door; Mickey was barely a foot behind him.

The short drive to the apartment was-for lack of a better word-tense.

Once they parked, Mickey didn't want to get out. He didn't want to confront Ian.

"C'mon Mick, we gotta do this. Before something really bad happens." Mickey shook his head and wouldn't look at Lip.

"Fuck. Look you go with me or you don't but either fucking way get outta my fucking car." Mickey could tell that Lip was frustrated and upset and scared shitless, and he knew exactly why; because he felt the same way.

Mickey slowly got out of the car. He wanted to slam the car door, he wanted to kick the fender and dent it; he resisted. He didn't want Lip pissed off at him, not at a time like this.

Mickey was the first to ascend the stairs to the apartment door.

He hesitated going in. He didn't know what he would find on the other side of the door.

He put the key into the lock and slowly turned it, he heard the click. He turned the doorknob and pushed the door open.

The first thing he saw was the broken things all over the living room, dishes, picture frames, the coffee table was tipped over, the cushions were not on the couch, they were scattered around the room.

"Fuck." Mickey cursed softly under his breath.

Lip stood behind Mickey, silently taking in all the damage.

Mickey didn't even want to look in the kitchen, he could image the mess in there.

He skipped the bathroom as well and went straight to the bedroom door.

He was surprised to realize that Lip hadn't followed him to the bedroom, he had gone into the kitchen.

The door wasn't shut all the way and Mickey could see a pile of crumpled, dirty, torn clothes laying in the middle of the room.

He couldn't see Ian, he pushed the door, hoping it didn't make any noise; it didn't.

His saw Ian's bright hair and he smiled, but then he saw Ian's face and his smile disappeared. The younger boy's face was red and puffy, dried tears were visible on his cheeks. Mickey hated himself; he caused those tears.

Ian looked like he had just fallen asleep; Mickey didn't want to wake him, but he knew that he **needed **to.

He stepped over the pile of clothes and nearly stepped on a picture frame.

He sat gingerly on the bed next to the sleeping red-head.

"Hey, Ian. Wake up baby." He was gentle and loving. He wasn't aggressive or forceful. He still loved Ian despite all the shit that had happened.

Ian reached out and pulled Mickey to him, he snuggled into Mickey, but didn't wake up.

Mickey struggled not to cry. He had to be strong. He had to do it for Ian.

He turned his head slightly and kissed Ian's cheek.

The red-head's eyes began to open.

Mickey could see the panic and the fear and the sadness in them.

He felt his heart shatter.

He felt terrible.

"M..M..Mick?" Ian's voice trembled. Mickey could see the tears in the corners of Ian's eyes.

"Yea, baby I'm here. Are you okay?" Mickey felt incredibly sappy and gay being so sweet but he knew it was what Ian needed. Ian sniffled a few times and nodded.

"Lip is here too, he wants to talk to you okay?" Ian shook his head rapidly.

"Why not?"

"I don't wanna see him." Mickey sighed.

"Alright fine, you don't have to see him, _yet_." Ian wasn't the same person he was the day before. Mickey felt bad for having left the way he did, he felt horrible for leaving Ian.

Mickey sat there holding Ian against him, for what seemed like forever. Ian was sniffling and Mickey was nearly rocking the kid. Ian seemed fine, just a bit scared.

Until Lip entered the room. As soon as Ian saw Lip, he pushed Mickey away from him.

"BOTH OF YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" He was screaming.

It took less than a second for Ian to go from scared and loving to insanely pissed off.

"Ian, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Mickey stayed silent, he didn't know what to do, so he did nothing.

"GET OUT LIP! NOW!" Mickey was relived that Ian wasn't yelling at him, but he felt bad for Lip.

"No, you're fucking going to a psychiatrist. You're fucking crazy Ian." Mickey didn't think Lip was really approaching the situation in the best way, but he didn't know how to do it any better, so he just let Lip do it his way.

Ian didn't say anything else, he just shook his head and looked at Mickey; silently begging him not to make him go.

"Ya gotta go Gallagher." Ian looked like he was going to start crying.

"But..but..no. I'm not crazy." Mickey sighed.

"I know you're not crazy, but ya still gotta go. Can you do that? For me?" He was not going to say please, he couldn't, that would be begging, and Mickey wasn't begging.

After a long silence, Ian nodded slightly.

Ian didn't bother changing his clothes, all the others were dirty anyway.

Mickey took Ian's hand as the followed Lip out of the apartment. He wasn't holding Gallagher's hand, fuck no. He was just making sure that Ian didn't try to bolt.

Mickey and Ian sat in the back seat of the car together, they were a bit squished because of the car-seat, but Mickey didn't mind.

Lip said something about how before they left the apartment he had called and made an appointment for Ian.

It took less than ten minutes to get to the big grey building where the doctor's office was.

Ian looked as nervous as Mickey felt.

At first Mickey had gone into the session with Ian, but after about twenty minutes he decided it was time for him to go out and sit in the waiting room; Ian needed to talk to the shrink alone.

_Second note to readers- Alright I'm ending there. What are your thoughts and feelings about this chapter? -Alayna._


	21. Chapter 21

_Note to readers- Anyone still with me? Sorry for no update, I just didn't have the energy to type it up. I've started looking for a job and I was just ehausted from that. Also I am __**not**__, I repeat __**not**__a medical professional, so any medications that are mentioned may or may not be used for what I am using them for, all I know is that a family member of mine who has bipolar disorder takes the type of medication that I mention. Also this chapter is going to be like super duper short, just because there really isn't much I can put into it with out fucking up the flow of the next chapter. -Alayna_

Mickey and Lip sat in the waiting room for nearly an hour. Finally Ian came out of the office. He looked tired, but _normal_. Mickey waited patiently in his seat; he was letting Gallagher come to him, he wasn't going to make the kid feel like he was forcing himself on him.

Lip on the other hand was up pretty fucking fast, Mickey yanked the back of Lip's shirt and made him sit. He didn't want him upsetting Ian, again.

Ian didn't walk toward them, he walked to the desk. Mickey guessed he was making another appointment.

Ian walked toward them, Mickey's heart rate increased.

"Can we go home Mick?" He spoke so quietly that Mickey barely heard him, he seemed so-_small_. Mickey nodded and stood.

"So what'd the doc say?" Fuck, Mick wanted to punch Lip; clearly Ian didn't want to talk about it.

Ian grabbed Mickey's hand and didn't say anything. Mickey didn't have in it in him to pull his hand away from Ian. It wasn't something Mickey wanted to be doing in public, but he knew that Ian needed it, so he allowed it; he didn't want to hurt the kid.

Ian was silent the entire ride home.

Mickey follwed Ian up the stairs and into the apartment, Lip had been smart enough to realize that it was a good idea if he left, at least for now.

When Ian saw the destruction in the apartment he broke down, he fell to his knees on the floor, tears flowing freely down his face, broken sobs escaping his throat.

Mickey knelt down next to him.

"You okay kid?" Dumb fucking question Milkovich, clearly he isn't okay.

Ian shook his head and cried harder.

"Hey it's okay. All this shit can get it fixed. We can get new shit. It's all fine."

Ian just cried and looked around the room.

"What'd the doctor say?" Mickey didn't know if Ian would talk about it, but he thought there was a better chance that Ian would tell him, than when Lip had asked.

"He said..said that..I'm.." Ian's words were shakey, and suddenly stopped when he sobbed.

"That you're what?" Mickey knew what was coming, he fucking knew, but he needed to hear Ian say it.

"I'm bipolar." Ian was whispering.

"And?" Mickey knew that there was more to it than just that.

"He said that..I can't be in the army anymore. I'm mentally unstable. And he wants me to take fucking pills." Ian got progressively louder, until he was nearly screaming.

Mickey didn't flinch though, he took it. He knew Ian needed to get all the anger and frustration out.

"What kinda pills?" Mickey was curious.

"Fucking..depakote or some fucking thing. I don't wanna take it, but I _have _to, don't I?" Ian still sounded pretty upset but he had calmed down a considerable amount. Mickey nodded.

"Yea, do you want me to go get the prescription filled?"

"No, I wanna do, but you'll come with me right?" Mickey felt-proud-Ian was accepting that he had to take the pills, he was accepting that he had a mental disorder.

"Of course." Ian smiled and wiped his face.

"You wanna go now?" Ian nodded and stood up with Mickey.

They headed to the drugstore a few blocks away.

It didn't take too long for the prescription to be filled, if Mickey had to guess he'd say it took thirteen minutes, not that he was counting.

The pharamisist went over a bunch of information with Ian about the pills and shit, Mickey pretended thtat he wasn't listening but he was, he wanted to know what the side effects of the pills were and shit, he just didn't want Ian to know, that he wanted to know.

Ian just nodded and listened to all that he was told.

He was supposed to begin taking the pills the next morning.

The walk home was very quite, neither of them spoke, or even looked at eachother.

When they got back to the apartment, despite the fact that he could stand doing it, Mickey began cleaning.

Ian went straight into the bedroom.

Mickey was picking up pieces of broken glass, and other random chunks of garbage when he saw it.

Amongst broken glass, discarded beer cans and cigarette butts, it shined.

The light glinted off of it, taunting Mickey.

His heart clenched, his breathing became shallow.

Why hadn't he noticed earlier? How had he been so blind?

_Note to readers- Sorry dears. I hate to leave you with a cliffhanger, but that's how it has to be. If you are still with me, let me know what you thought. And what do you think the object that Mickey has just discovered is? -Alayna_


	22. Chapter 22

_Note To Readers- Alright, first off I want to tell you that this is the last chapter, but the story isn't over. No at all. I'm going to be starting a third part. I want to 'skip' ahead a bit, and I really don't think it will flow well if I do it here. I haven't decided on a title yet; but I've got a few ideas. I'm hoping to get the first chapter of it up pretty quickly. -Alayna._

Mickey dropped all the broken objects he had been holding. He stared down at the shining object. He didn't want to touch it. He didn't want to look at it; but he couldn't look away.

He knew he had to pick it up. He had to, he couldn't leave it there. He couldn't leave it amongst the garbage.

He knelt down and slowly reached out at and touched it. He almost pulled his hand away; it felt like it had burned his skin.

As it lay in the palm of his hand, he released the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding in.

Why would Ian just throw it onto the floor? Why?

Mickey felt the tears forming in his eyes. He wasn't going to cry. He couldn't cry. It didn't mean anything. It was a pointless object. Why the fuck should he care that Ian had thrown it on the floor?

He shook his head and stood up. He slid the object into his pocket, he'd keep it safe. He'd keep it forever; if Ian didn't want it, he still did.

He finished cleaning the living room, he put the cushions back on the couch, flipped the coffee table back to it's original position.

He took the trash into the kitchen. He was surprised to find that it wasn't nearly as messy as the living room, just a few broken things on the floor and some spilled soda. He threw the broken stuff away and mopped the sticky mess up.

He was sweaty and hot when by the time he was finished cleaning.

He sighed and leaned against the counter.

Thoughts of the small expensive object in his pocket filled his mind.

He kept telling himself that it didn't matter, it didn't mean anything; but he didn't believe himself, not even a little bit.

He heard the bedroom door opening, he looked up saw Ian's bright hair, his wide smile and his stupid freckled face.

"What are you doing Mick?"

"What does it look like I'm doing Gallagher? I just cleaned this shit up, now I'm just standing here." Mickey tried to keep the bitterness from coming out with the words; he didn't succeed as well as he had hope he would.

Ian just nodded, grabbed a cup, filled it with water and headed back into the bedroom; nothing else was said.

Mickey wanted to hit something, or break something, or throw something but he didn't; he wasn't cleaning shit up _again_.

He pulled his cigarettes and lighter out of his pocket and lit one as he sat down at the table.

Inhaling the smoke hurt, it really fucking hurt; not because he needed to quite smoking but because he felt like he was choking on it. He was choking on the nicotine that he desperately needed to keep himself sane.

He lit a second cigarette off the first one. He laughed bitterly.

He needed to confront Ian about what was currently in his pocket, he just didn't know how to do it without upsetting Ian.

He put the second cigarette out in the ashtray.

He headed for the bedroom.

He pushed open to door slowly, Ian had cleaned the room up, and was laying silently on the bed, he wasn't asleep though. The red-head was staring up at the ceiling.

When Mickey entered the room Ian looked at him.

Ian looked tired, but otherwise he was fine. Mickey was glad he didn't look sad, or pissed off; he really didn't want to have to deal with Ian like that, _not now_.

"What 'cha doing?" Mickey wasn't just gonna jump right into it.

"Just laying here. Not much else to do."

Mickey nodded and sat next to him. He purposely began twisting his ring around his finger, hoping that Ian would notice.

"You wanna go watch a movie or something?" Ian sounded hopeful.

Mickey shook his head, and continued twisting; Ian still didn't notice.

Mickey wanted to shout at Ian, he wanted to yell at him for fucking throwing it on the floor; but he didn't.

"Can I ask ya something?" Mickey bit his tongue; stopping himself from saying something-dickish.

Ian nodded and smiled at him.

Mickey reached into his pocket and pulled the small, shiny, silver ring out.

Ian's eyes widened and his smile disappeared.

"Why the fuck was this on the floor in the living room, in a pile of broken glass and garbage?" He mentally slapped himself for cussing at Ian; he was trying to be nice and polite, it didn't work.

"I..I didn't..you..I was.." Ian was stuttering, and not making any sense. Mickey snorted.

"Ya know Gallagher, it doesn't even fucking matter, okay?"

"But it does. I was upset, you left and I..I didn't mean to throw it on the floor, but I..I just wanted to forget that fucked up." Mickey rolled his eyes. He tried to be nice; it wasn't working. He was upset and Ian's 'excuses' were only pissing him off. He knew Ian couldn't control what he'd done, but he still did it, and Mickey really didn't know how to react, so he acted like a dick, a defense mechanism.

"It doesn't fucking matter Gallagher. I'll just take mine off and put 'em away." Ian looked like he was gonna cry; Mickey felt bad about it, but fuck it-he wasn't gonna feel bad. It wasn't important in the first place, it meant nothing.

"But Mick.." Mickey cut him off.

"No. It's fine. Maybe, eventually I'll be able to get 'em back out. Until then, they're off." Mickey pulled the ring off his finger and walked to the closet, he grabbed his lock-box out of the back and shoved them inside.

"It's done." Mickey's voice nearly trembled as he spoke, his hands shook as he re-locked the box.

"You mean we're done?" He wasn't looking at the red-head but he could tell that the kid was crying.

Mickey shook his head; he didn't want to look at Ian.

"That's not what I said. I said _it's _done."

"What d..does that m..m..mean?"

"Putting them away is done, that's all." Mickey turned around, Ian's face was red and wet. Mickey walked to the bed, sat next to Ian, and pulled him into his arms.

"It's all gonna be okay kid."

_Note to readers- Alright there's the end of this, next part will be up soon. Let me know what you thought. -Alayna_


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